254. XVIII. THE THIRD CAUSE OF LEGITIMATE SEPARATION IS IMPOTENCE BEFORE MARRIAGE. The reason why this is a cause of separation is, because the end of marriage is the procreation of children, which cannot take place where this cause of separation operates; and as this is foreknown by the parties, they are deliberately deprived of the hope of it, which hope nevertheless nourishes and strengthens their conjugial love.
255. XIX. ADULTERY IS THE CAUSE OF DIVORCE. There are several reasons for this, which are discernible in rational light, and yet at this day they are concealed. From rational light it may be seen that marriages are holy and adulteries profane; and thus that marriages and adulteries are diametrically opposite to each other; and that when opposites act upon each other, one destroys the other even to the last spark of its life. This is the case with conjugial love, when a married person commits adultery from a confirmed principle, and thus from a deliberate purpose. With those who know anything of heaven and hell, these things are more clearly discernible by the light of reason: for they know that marriages are in and from heaven, and that adulteries are in and from hell, and that these two cannot be conjoined, as heaven cannot be conjoined with hell, and that instantly, if they are conjoined with man (homo), heaven recedes, and hell enters. Hence then it is, that adultery is the cause of divorce; wherefore the Lord saith, that "whosoever shall put away his wife, except for whoredom, and shall marry another, committeth adultery," Matt. xix. 9. He saith, if, except for whoredom, he shall put away his wife, and marry another, he committeth adultery; because putting away for this cause is a plenary separation of minds, which is called divorce; whereas other kinds of putting away, grounded in their particular causes are separations, of which we have just treated; after these, if another wife is married, adultery is committed; but not so after a divorce.
256. XX. THERE ARE ALSO SEVERAL ACCIDENTAL CAUSES OF COLD; THE FIRST OF WHICH IS, THAT ENJOYMENT IS COMMON (OR CHEAP), BECAUSE CONTINUALLY ALLOWED. The reason why this consideration is an accidental cause of cold is, because it exists with those who think lasciviously respecting marriage and a wife, but not with those who think holily respecting marriage, and securely respecting a wife. That from being common (or cheap) in consequence of being continually allowed, even joys become indifferent, and also tiresome, is evident from the case of pastimes and public shows, musical entertainments, dancing, feasting, and the like, which in themselves are agreeable, because vivifying. The case is the same with the intimacy and connection between married partners, especially between those who have not removed the unchaste love of the sex from the love which they bear to each other; and when they think of enjoyment's being common (or cheap) in consequence of being continually allowed, they think vainly in the absence of the faculty of enjoyment. That this consideration is to such persons a cause of cold is self-evident. It is called accidental, because it joins inward cold as a cause, and ranks on its side as a reason. To remove the cold arising from this circumstance, it is usual with wives, from the prudence implanted in them, to offer resistance to what is allowable. But the case is altogether otherwise with those who think chastely respecting wives; wherefore with the angels the consideration of enjoyment's being common in consequence of being continually allowed, is the very delight of their souls, and contains their conjugial love; for they are continually in the delight of that love, and in its ultimates according to the presence of their minds uninterrupted by cares, thus from the decisions of the judgement of the husbands.
257. XXI. OF ACCIDENTAL CAUSES OF COLD THE SECOND IS, THAT LIVING WITH A MARRIED PARTNER, FROM A COVENANT AND CONTRACT, SEEMS FORCED AND NOT FREE. This cause operates only with those with whom conjugial love in the inmost principles is cold; and since it unites with internal cold, it becomes an additional or accidental cause. With such persons, extra-conjugial love, arising from consent and the favor thereof, is interiorly in heat; for the cold of the one is the heat of the other; which, if it is not sensibly felt, is still within, yea, in the midst of cold; and unless it was thus also within, there would be no reparation. This heat is what constitutes the force or compulsion, which is increased in proportion as, by one of the parties, the covenant grounded in agreement and the contract grounded in what is just, are regarded as bonds not to be violated; it is otherwise if those bonds are loosed by each of the parties. The case is reversed with those who have rejected extra-conjugial love as detestable, and think of conjugial love as of what is heavenly and heaven; and the more so if they perceive it to be so: with such that covenant with its articles of agreement, and that contract with its sanctions, are inscribed on their hearts, and are continually being inscribed thereon more and more. In this case the bond of that love is neither secured by a covenant agreed upon, nor by a law enacted; but both covenant and law are from creation implanted in the love itself, which influences the parties; from the latter (namely, the covenant and the law implanted from creation in the love itself) are derived the former (namely, the covenant and law) in the world, but not vice versa. Hence, whatever relates to that love is felt as free; neither is there any freedom but what is of love: and I have heard from the angels, that love truly conjugial is most free, because it is the love of loves.
258. XXII. OF ACCIDENTAL CAUSES OF COLD THE THIRD IS, AFFIRMATION ON THE PART OF THE WIFE, AND HER TALKING INCESSANTLY ABOUT LOVE. With the angels in heaven there is no refusal and repugnance on the part of the wives, as there is with some wives on earth: with the angels in heaven also the wives converse about love, and are not silent as some wives on earth; but the causes of these differences I am not allowed to declare, because it would be unbecoming; nevertheless they are declared in four MEMORABLE RELATIONS at the close of the chapters, by the angels' wives, who freely speak of them to their husbands, by the three in the hall over which there was a golden shower, and by the seven who were sitting in a rosary. These memorable relations are adduced, to the end that every thing may be explained that relates to conjugial love, which is the subject here treated of both in general and in particular.