"You must not talk," said she, "because it only is to make us both the more unhappy. You are quixotic enough, or great enough—I don't know which—I can't tell which it is—to say you'd take the shame on your own shoulders in order to take it off of mine! You can't mean that! No! no! One life ruined is enough—you've ruined yours enough now, today, by what you've done for Don and me."
He seemed not to hear her.
"I've watched you all these years, and you've lived like a recluse, like a widow. I can't reproach you. God! Which of us may first cast a stone?"
Aurora Lane turned to him now a brave face, the same brave face she had turned to the world all these years.
"Oh," said she, "if only I had learned to lie! Maybe some women could lie to you. And women get so tired—so awfully tired sometimes—I couldn't blame them. I might marry you, yes—I believe I could. But I would never lie to you—I won't lie to you now."
"What are you going to say to me, Aurie?"
"What I'm going to say to all the world! I've never been married to anyone and can't be now. It would be more horrible to me than—that other. It's too late. It—it means too much to me—marriage—marriage—marriage! Don't—don't—you mustn't say some things to a woman. Oh, if all this had happened twenty years ago, when I was young, I might have been weak enough to listen to what you say. I was weak and frightened then—I didn't know how I'd ever get on—all life was a terror to me. But that was twenty years ago. I've made my fight now, and I've learned that after a fashion at least I could get on—I did—I have. I can go on through alone the rest of the way, and it's right that I should. That's what I'm going to do!"
She saw the great hand clutch the more tightly on two picket tops. They broke under the closing grip of his great hand.
"That's right hard," said he simply. "We can't be married now? But—tell me, can't I help you?"
"Oh, no, no, don't—don't talk of that!" she said. She was weeping now. "Don't try to help me," she sobbed bitterly. "You can't help me—nobody can help me—there's no help in the world—not even God can help me! You've been cruel—all the world has been nothing but cruel to me all my life. I've nothing to hope—there's nothing that can help me, nothing. I'm one of the lost, that's all. Until today, I'd hoped. I never will hope again."