Then the men rose to get their pipes. They stood for a moment behind My-Boots, patting him on the back, and asking him if he was feeling better. Bibi-the-Smoker lifted him up in his chair; but tonnerre de Dieu! the animal had doubled in weight. Coupeau joked that My-Boots was only getting started, that now he was going to settle down and really eat for the rest of the night. The waiters were startled and quickly vanished from sight.
Boche, who had gone downstairs for a moment, came up to report the proprietor’s reaction. He was standing behind his bar, pale as death. His wife, dreadfully upset, was wondering if any bakeries were still open. Even the cat seemed deep in despair. This was as funny as could be, really worth the price of the dinner. It was impossible to have a proper dinner party without My-Boots, the bottomless pit. The other men eyed him with a brooding jealousy as they puffed on their pipes. Indeed, to be able to eat so much, you had to be very solidly built!
“I wouldn’t care to be obliged to support you,” said Madame Gaudron. “Ah, no; you may take my word for that!”
“I say, little mother, no jokes,” replied My-Boots, casting a side glance at his neighbor’s rotund figure. “You’ve swallowed more than I have.”
The others applauded, shouting “Bravo!”—it was well answered. It was now pitch dark outside, three gas-jets were flaring in the room, diffusing dim rays in the midst of the tobacco-smoke. The waiters, after serving the coffee and the brandy, had removed the last piles of dirty plates. Down below, beneath the three acacias, dancing had commenced, a cornet-a-piston and two fiddles playing very loud, and mingling in the warm night air with the rather hoarse laughter of women.
“We must have a punch!” cried My-Boots; “two quarts of brandy, lots of lemon, and a little sugar.”
But Coupeau, seeing the anxious look on Gervaise’s face in front of him, got up from the table, declaring that there should be no more drink. They had emptied twenty-five quarts, a quart and a half to each person, counting the children as grown-up people; that was already too much. They had had a feed together in good fellowship, and without ceremony, because they esteemed each other, and wished to celebrate the event of the day amongst themselves. Everything had been very nice; they had had lots of fun. It wouldn’t do to get cockeyed drunk now, out of respect to the ladies. That was all he had to say, they had come together to toast a marriage and they had done so.
Coupeau delivered the little speech with convincing sincerity and punctuated each phrase by placing his hand on his heart. He won whole-hearted approval from Lorilleux and Monsieur Madinier; but the other four men, especially My-Boots, were already well lit and sneered. They declared in hoarse drunken voices that they were thirsty and wanted drinks.
“Those who’re thirsty are thirsty, and those who aren’t thirsty aren’t thirsty,” remarked My-Boots. “Therefore, we’ll order the punch. No one need take offence. The aristocrats can drink sugar-and-water.”
And as the zinc-worker commenced another sermon, the other, who had risen on his legs, gave himself a slap, exclaiming: