At this recollection a fresh attack of sobbing shook her, in fact almost stifled her.
“No, no,” she at last resumed, “I would not part with her dear little body by leaving it in that abominable town. And I can’t tell exactly how it happened, but it must have been those poor people who took me with them. We did a great deal of walking, oh! a great deal of walking; we saw all those gentlemen of the pilgrimage and the railway. ‘What can it matter to you?’ I repeated to them. ‘Let me take her back to Paris in my arms. I brought her here like that when she was alive, I may surely take her back dead? Nobody will notice anything, people will think that she is asleep.’”
“And all of them, all those officials, began shouting and driving me away as though I were asking them to let me do something wicked. Then I ended by telling them my mind. When people make so much fuss, and bring so many agonising sick to a place like that, they surely ought to send the dead ones home again, ought they not? And do you know how much money they ended by asking of me at the station? Three hundred francs! Yes, it appears it is the price! Three hundred francs, good Lord! of me, who came here with thirty sous in my pocket and have only five left. Why, I don’t earn that amount of money by six months’ sewing. They ought to have asked me for my life; I would have given it so willingly. Three hundred francs! three hundred francs for that poor little bird-like body, which it would have consoled me so much to have brought away on my knees!”
Then she began stammering and complaining in a confused, husky voice: “Ah, if you only knew how sensibly those poor people talked to me to induce me to go back. A work-woman like myself, with work waiting, ought to return to Paris, they said; and, besides, I couldn’t afford to sacrifice my return ticket; I must take the three-forty train. And they told me, too, that people are compelled to put up with things when they are not rich. Only the rich can keep their dead, do what they like with them, eh? And I can’t remember—no, again I can’t remember! I didn’t even know the time; I should never have been able to find my way back to the station. After the funeral over there, at a place where there were two trees, it must have been those poor people who led me away, half out of my senses, and brought me to the station, and pushed me into the carriage just at the moment when the train was starting. But what a rending it was—as if my heart had remained there underground, and it is frightful, that it is, frightful, my God!”
“Poor woman!” murmured Marie. “Take courage, and pray to the Blessed Virgin for the succour which she never refuses to the afflicted.”
But at this Madame Vincent shook with rage. “It isn’t true!” she cried. “The Blessed Virgin doesn’t care a rap about me. She doesn’t tell the truth! Why did she deceive me? I should never have gone to Lourdes if I hadn’t heard that voice in a church. My little girl would still be alive, and perhaps the doctors would have saved her. I, who would never set my foot among the priests formerly! Ah! I was right! I was right! There’s no Blessed Virgin at all!”
And in this wise, without resignation, without illusion, without hope, she continued blaspheming with the coarse fury of a woman of the people, shrieking the sufferings of her heart aloud in such rough fashion that Sister Hyacinthe had to intervene: “Be quiet, you unhappy woman! It is God who is making you suffer, to punish you.”
The scene had already lasted a long time, and as they passed Riscle at full speed the Sister again clapped her hands and gave the signal for the chanting of the “Laudate Mariam.” “Come, come, my children,” she exclaimed, “all together, and with all your hearts:
“In heav’n, on earth,
All voices raise,
In concert sing
My Mother’s praise:
Laudate, laudate, laudate Mariam!”
Madame Vincent, whose voice was drowned by this canticle of love, now only sobbed, with her hands pressed to her face. Her revolt was over, she was again strengthless, weak like a suffering woman whom grief and weariness have stupefied.