"Can I give my heart, holy Mother? It seems to me that love is rather like a plant that grows, than like a treasure that is given."
"Thou art right: but the planting must be sometime. Hast thou ever asked God to take thine heart? For as a holy man of old hath said,—'If Thou leave me to myself, I shall not give it Thee.'"
I shook my head. It all sounded strange to me.
"If the usurper is in the citadel, dear child, he will hold the gates against the rightful King: and, Helena, there are no traitors in His camp. Thou art not a sword, nor a shield, which can do nothing of itself; but a human creature with a living will, which can choose either to open the gates to the King, or to shut them against His trumpeter when He sends thee summons to surrender. Nay, thou not only canst choose; thou must: at this moment, at every moment, thou art choosing. What message hast thou sent back to thy rightful Lord, both by right and purchase? Is it 'Come Thou, and reign over me;' or is it, 'Go back to Thy place, for I will have none of Thee'?"
I would willingly not have answered: but I felt it would be to fail in respect to Lady Judith's age and position. I stammered out something about hoping that I should make my salvation some time.
"My child, didst thou ever do any thing at any time but now?" said Lady Judith.
I suppose that is true; for it is always now, when we actually come to do it.
"But, holy Mother, there is so much to give up if one becomes religious!" said I.
"What is there to give up, that thou couldst take with thee into Heaven?"
"But there will be things in Heaven to compensate," said I.