“Who goes there?”
“Washing for Cartwright’s ward.”
“Ay, all right. Come within. Cartwright!” shouted the porter.
We went in, and stood waiting a moment just inside the door, till a warder appeared, who desired Colonel Keith to “bring that ’ere basket up, now.”
“You can wait a bit, Betty,” said the Colonel, turning to me. “Don’t be afraid, my girl. Nobody ’ll touch you, and Will ’ll soon be back.”
They say it is unlucky to watch people out of sight. I hope it is not true. True or untrue, I watched him. Yes, Will Clowes might be back soon; but would Duncan Keith ever return any more?
And then a feeling came, as if a tide of fear swept over me,—Was it right of Flora to ask him to make that promise? I have wondered vaguely many a time: but in that minute, with all my senses sharpened, I seemed to see what a blunder it was. Is it ever right to ask people for such unconditional pledges to a distinct course of action, when we cannot know what is going to happen? To what agony—nay, even to what wrong-doing—may we pledge them without knowing it! It seems to me that influence is a very awful thing, for it reaches so much farther than you can see. May it not be said sometimes of us all, “They know not what they do”? And then to think that when we come out of that Valley of the Shadow into the clear light of the Judgment Bar, all our unknown sins may burst upon us like a great army, more than we can count or imagine—it is terrible!
O my God, save me from unknown sins! O Christ, be my Help and Advocate when I come to know them!
How I lived through the next quarter of an hour I can never say to anybody. I sat upon a settle near the door of the prison, praying—how earnestly!—for both of those in danger, but more especially for Colonel Keith. At last I saw a man coming towards me with the empty basket, in which he had inserted his head, like a bonnet, so that it rather veiled his face. I remembered then that I was to “make as much noise as I could,” and quarrel with my supposed lover.
“Well, you are a proper young man!” said I, standing up. “How long do you mean to keep me waiting, I should like to know? You think I’ve nothing in the world to do, don’t you, now? And Missis ’ll say nought to me, will she, for coming home late? Just you give me that basket—men be such dolts!”