But now, when she had done all that she could possibly do towards finding him, now that she had come home to the old familiar rooms, made desolate by his loss, and was obliged to abide in inactivity within them,—now that she missed him everywhere and every moment,—the reaction from courage to despair was so sudden and overwhelming that her very brain reeled, her reason for the moment seemed imperiled. With a half-stifled cry, she sank upon her chair, muttering with gasping breath:
“It is not possible! it cannot be! Lenny gone, and not know where he is! Wake me! Wake me! I have the nightmare!”
Anna sprang to her side, and put her arms around her saying:
“Drusilla, Drusilla! my darling, courageous girl! collect your powers—control yourself!”
“Is it TRUE, Anna? Oh, say it is not—not true! Lenny is NOT LOST!” she exclaimed, wildly gazing into Anna’s eyes.
“We hope that he is safe wherever he is,” said Anna wishingly.
“Wherever he is! Oh, my Heaven, yes, it is so! He is lost, and we do not know where to find him!” she exclaimed, distractedly starting up and walking the floor, and wringing and twisting her hands. “Where is he? where is he to-night? Oh, in all this great crowded city, where is my little child—my poor, little two-year old child, who cannot help himself? He is frightened to death wherever he is—I know it! He is calling for me, he is crying for me, at this very moment! Oh, my Lenny, my Lenny! I would go to you through fire if I knew where to find you in this great Babylon! I would, my little one, I would! But I do not know where in this wilderness to look for you to-night, and you must cry for me in vain, my little child, you must! Oh, what a horrible night! I cannot, I cannot live through it! I cannot breathe in this house! I must go out and look for him again! I must! I must!”
Her head was thrown back, her arms raised, and her hands clasped upon her throbbing temples, and she reeled as she walked to and fro in the room.
Anna, who bad kept near her, seeing her about to fall, caught her and made her sit down, while she said:
“Drusa, dearest, be reasonable! be yourself!”