What a Young Wife Ought to Know

by Emma F. Angell Drake

Every young wife should be a good home-maker. An Eastern proverb says: “The wife is the household.” And the Japanese say, “The house rests upon the mother.” O woman! guard your treasure sacredly, this most priceless marriage gift, the title and blessing of home-keeper. She should make the home so attractive that no club can win him away from it in his leisure hours. She should make it, not only a haven of rest for him, but a place for delightful entertainment of his friends at all suitable times. However, the thoughtful husband will not invite his friends to his home, as a rule, without a word sent to his wife, that she may make any little needed preparation, and so be her happiest self with the guests.

I remember the advice an aged minister gave to a bride on her wedding day. “My dear, be always so hospitable that no guest shall leave your home with other than feelings of delight.” She followed this advice to the letter and many times when busy with the cares of the home, she was interrupted by the advent of an unexpected guest, I have watched with interest the hearty welcome she gave them, and the real gladness she put into their lives by her true hospitality.

The young wife should take not less, but more pains to make herself as attractive after as before marriage. A soiled ribbon, an untidy toilet, may seem trifling things, but they tell much of the esteem in which she holds her husband and her home. Not less but more care is needed to retain the love and respect of the man of her choice, than to win it. The pretty dress, the color of the ribbon, the manner of dressing the hair, are not affected, but chosen deliberately because she knows they are pleasing to him.

She should be the willing mother of his children. Marriage comprehends not only wifehood, but motherhood. To-day this is hardly believed by the many, and we may well mourn it as fatal, not only to the future of the American race, but to the best and highest interests of the home.

She should seek to keep pace with him in his mental growth, and never for a moment think that she is advancing his highest interests when she is denying herself that which would contribute to her development in order that he may advance. The marriage contract is not so one-sided a matter as this. Everything is for the interests of both, not one alone. There is something heroically pathetic in the story of Nasby’s Hannah Jane, but something perniciously unjust and blameworthy as well. Many a divorce has come from such blind neglect of self, that the interests of the husband may be advanced. “Incompatibility,” is the plea, a word full of tears, when discovered after years of married life.

The thoughtful husband will never allow such self-abnegation on the part of the wife. What he reads, she should read; and if she have not the time, he should read it aloud, while her hands are busy with the household cares. I remember well hearing Mrs. Livermore say, that she had her husband to thank for much of her mental growth, and varied information. “He was determined,” she said, “that I should read everything that he read; and many times in our little parsonage in a western state, when I was busied about the work of the home, he would come out into the kitchen, heated as hot as the fiery furnace, and read to me the book he was enjoying.”

In the line of intellectual development there is a danger that must be guarded against. In this day of literary clubs and reading circles, the ambition to excel and keep pace with other women in mental culture, will prove a snare if not guarded against.

All that the wife can do in outside work, while not neglecting the higher duties of home and heart, will only freshen and brighten her for companionship, and give her glimpses, yes, extended views, of the world and its doings, that will serve to broaden her horizon, and bring her in closer touch with her husband in his wrestlings with the affairs of life.

The words of the wise man are not obsolete, and are as timely to-day as when written. “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness; she looketh to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excelleth them all.”

A converted heathen said of his wife, “I do thank God for my Christian wife. She has been such a help to me. I nearly always take her advice. In fact I may just as well tell you that I always take it, she is so wise.”