Two of her nieces accompanied her, in 1834, upon a mission to the Friends' Meetings in Dorset and Hants; and recalling this journey some time later, one of them said, speaking of her aunt's peculiar mission of ministering to the tried and afflicted: "There was no weakness or trouble of mind or body, which might not safely be unveiled to her. Whatever various or opposite views, feelings, or wishes might be confided to her, all came out again tinged with her own loving, hopeful spirit. Bitterness of every kind died when entrusted to her; it never re-appeared. The most favorable construction possible was always put upon every transaction. No doubt her feeling lay this way; but did it not give her and her example a wonderful influence? Was it not the very secret of her power with the wretched and degraded prisoners? She could always see hope for everyone; she invariably found or made some point of light. The most abandoned must have felt she did not despair for them, either for this world or for another; and this it was which made her irresistible."
In taking a view of this good woman's religious life and character, it will be helpful to see her as she appeared to herself—to enter into her own feelings at different periods of her life, and to listen to her heart-felt expressions of humility and perplexity. Thus, in relation to the ups and downs of life with her, we find in her journal this passage:—
The difference between last winter and this winter has been striking! How did the righteous compass me about, from the Sovereign, the Princes, and the Princesses, down to the poorest, lowest, and most destitute; how did poor sinners of almost every description seek after me, and cleave to me? What was not said of me? What was not thought of me, may I not say, in public and in private, in innumerable publications? This winter I have had the bed of languishing; deep, very deep, prostration of soul and body; instead of being a helper to others, ready to lean upon all, glad even to be diverted by a child's book. In addition to this, I find the tongue of slander has been ready to attack me. The work that was made so much of before, some try to lessen now. My faith is that He will not give me over to the will of my enemies, nor let me be utterly cast down.
In relation to her conscientious fear of the admixture of sin with her service of God and of humanity, she wrote:—
I apprehend that all would not understand me, but many who are much engaged in what we call works of righteousness, will understand the reason that in the Jewish dispensation there was an offering made for the iniquity of holy things.
In regard to marriage she writes:—
We have had the subject of marriage much before us this year; it has brought us to some test of our feelings and principles respecting it. That it is highly desirable to have young persons settle in marriage, I cannot doubt, and that it is one of the most likely means of their preservation, religiously, morally, temporally. Moreover, it is highly desirable to settle with one of the same religious views, habits, and education, as themselves, more particularly for those who have been brought up as Friends, because their mode of education is peculiar. But if any young persons, upon arriving at an age of discretion, do not feel themselves really attached to our peculiar views and habits, then, I think, their parents have no right to use undue influence with them as to the connections they may incline to form, provided they be with persons of religious lives and conversation. I am of opinion that parents are apt to exercise too much authority upon the subject of marriage, and that there would be really more happy unions if young persons were left more to their own feelings and discretion. Marriage is too much treated like a business concern, and love, that essential ingredient, too little respected in it. I disapprove of the rule of our Society which disowns persons for allowing a child to marry one who is not a Friend; it is a most undue and unchristian restraint, as far as I can judge of it.
As the time passed, and her family got scattered up and down in the world, the idea occurred to her that, although members of different sects and churches, they could unite in fireside worship and study of the Bible, as Christians. Many of them were within suitable distances for occasional or frequent meetings, according to their circumstances; while some of the grandchildren were of an age to understand, and possibly profit by, the exercises. In response to the motherly communication which follows, these family gatherings were arranged, and succeeded beyond the original expectations of she who suggested them. They continued, under the title of "philanthropic evenings," to cement the family circle, after Mrs. Fry had passed away. The tone of the letter inviting their co-operation is that of a philanthropist, a mother, and a Christian. It shows plainly that with all her engagements, worries and trials, she had not absorbed or lost the spirit of the docile Mary in that of the careful Martha.
My Dearest Children:
Many of you know that for some time I have felt and expressed the want of our social intercourse at times, leading to religious union and communion among us. It has pleased the Almighty to permit that by far the larger number of you no longer walk with me in my religious course. Except very occasionally, we do not meet together for the solemn purpose of worship, and upon some other points we do not see eye to eye; and whilst I feel deeply sensible that, notwithstanding this diversity among us, we are truly united in our Holy Head, there are times when, in my declining years, I seriously feel the loss of not having more of the spiritual help and encouragement of those I have brought up, and truly sought to nurture in the Lord. This has led me to many serious considerations how the case may, under present circumstances, be in any way met.
My conclusion is that, believing as we do in the Lord as our Saviour, one Holy Spirit as our Sanctifier, and one God and Father of us all, our points of union are surely strong; and if we are members of one living Church, and expect to be such for ever, we may profitably unite in some religious engagements here below.
The world, and the things of it, occupy us much, and they are rapidly passing away; it will be well if we occasionally set apart a time for unitedly attending to the things of Eternity. I therefore propose that we try the following plan: if it answer, continue it; if not, by no means feel bound to it. That our party, in the first instance, should consist of no others than our children, and such grandchildren as may be old enough to attend. That our objects in meeting be for the strengthening of our faith, for our advancement in a religious and holy life, and for the promoting of Christian love and fellowship.
I propose that we read the Scriptures unitedly, in an easy, familiar manner, each being perfectly at liberty to make any remark or ask any questions. That it should be a time for religious instruction, by seeking to understand the mind of the Lord, for doctrine and practice, in searching the Scriptures, and bringing ourselves and our deeds to the light.... That either before or after the Scriptures are read we should consider how far we are engaged for the good of our fellow-men, and what, as far as we can judge, most conduces to this object. All the members of this little community are advised to communicate anything they may have found useful or interesting in religious books, and to bring forward anything that is doing for the good of mankind in the world generally.
I hope that thus meeting together may stimulate the family to more devotion of heart to the service of their God; at home and abroad to mind their different callings, however varied; and to be active in helping others. It is proposed that this meeting should take place once a month at each house in rotation. I now have drawn some little outline of what I desire, and if any of you like to unite with me in making the experiment, it would be very gratifying to me; still I hope all will feel at liberty to do as they think best themselves. Your dearly attached mother,
Elizabeth Fry.
None but a parent whose spiritual life was pure, true, and deep, could feel such a constant solicitude about the spiritual progress and education of her family. Nor was this solicitude confined to the membership of her own circle. All who in any way assisted in her special department of philanthropy were councilled, wisely and kindly, to act rather than preach the gospel of Christ. In communications of this sort we find the newly-appointed matrons to the convict-ships advised to show their faith more by conduct than profession; to avoid "religious cant;" to be prudent and circumspect; to have discretion, wisdom and meekness. So she passed through life; the faithful friend, the patient, wise mother, the meek, tender wife, the succorer of all in distress. Everyone felt free to go to her with their troubles; a reverse of circumstances, a sick child, a bad servant, or turn of sickness, all called forth her ready aid, and her wise, far-seeing judgment. And even in the last months of her life, when, worn out with service and pain, she was slowly going down to the gates of death, her children and grandchildren were cut off suddenly by scarlet fever, she bowed resignedly to the Hand which had sent "sorrow upon sorrow." And when she who had been as a tower of strength to all around her, was reduced to the weakness of childhood by intense suffering, the survivors clung yet more closely to her, as if they could not let her go. So as physical strength declined, she actually grew stronger and brighter in mental and moral power. The deep and painful tribulations which characterized her later years, but refined and purified the gold of her nature.