Ὡς δὲ καὶ τὸ τῶν καισάρων συνεκεκρότητο[552] συμπόσιον, εἰσῄει πρῶτος Ἰούλιος Καῖσαρ, ὑπὸ φιλοτιμίας αὐτῷ βουλόμενος ἐρίσαι τῷ Διὶ περὶ τῆς μοναρχίας, εἰς ὃν ὁ Σειληνὸς βλέψας, Ὅρα, εἶπεν, ὦ Ζεῦ, μή σε ὁ ἀνὴρ οὗτος ὑπὸ φιλαρχίας ἀφελέσθαι καὶ τὴν βασιλείαν διανοηθῇ. καὶ γὰρ, ὡς ὁρᾷς, ἐστὶ μέγας καὶ καλός· ἐμοὶ γοῦν, εἰ καὶ μηδὲν ἄλλο, [309] τὰ γοῦν περὶ τὴν κεφαλὴν ἐστι προσόμοιος. παίζοντος ἔτι τοιαῦτα τοῦ Σειληνοῦ καὶ τῶν θεῶν οὐ σφόδρα προσεχόντων αὐτῷ, Ὀκταβιανὸς ἐπεισέρχεται πολλὰ ἀμείβων, ὥσπερ οἱ χαμαιλέοντες, χρώματα καὶ νῦν μὲν ὠχριῶν, αὖθις δὲ ἐρυθρὸς γινόμενος, εἶτα μέλας καὶ ζοφώδης καὶ συννεφής· [B] ἀνίετο δ᾽ αὖθις εἰς Ἀφροδίτην καὶ Χάριτας, εἶναί τε ἤθελε τὰς βολὰς τῶν ὀμμάτων ὁποῖός ἐστιν ὁ μέγας Ἥλιος· οὐδένα γάρ οἱ τῶν ἀπαντώντων[553] ἀντιβλέπειν ἠξίου. καὶ ὁ Σειληνός, Βαβαί, ἔφη, τοῦ παντοδαποῦ τούτου θηρίου· τί ποτ᾽ ἄρα δεινὸν ἡμᾶς ἐργάσεται; Παῦσαι, εἴπε, ληρῶν, ὁ Ἀπόλλων· ἐγὼ γὰρ αὐτὸν τουτῳὶ Ζήνωνι παραδοὺς αὐτίκα ὑμῖν ἀποφανῶ χρυσὸν ἀκήρατον. [C] ἀλλ᾽ ἴθι, εἶπεν, ὦ Ζήνων, ἐπιμελήθητι τοὐμοῦ θρέμματος. ὁ δὲ [pg 352] ὑπακούσας, εἶτα ἐπᾴσας αὐτῷ μικρὰ τῶν δογμάτων, ὥσπερ οἱ τὰς Ζαμόλξιδος ἐπῳδὰς θρυλοῦντες, ἀπέφηνεν ἄνδρα ἔμφρονα καὶ σώφρονα.
(When the banquet had been arranged for the Emperors also, Julius Caesar entered first, and such was his passion for glory that he seemed ready to contend with Zeus himself for dominion. Whereupon Silenus observing him said, “Take care, Zeus, lest this man in his lust for power be minded to rob you of your empire. He is, as you see, tall and handsome, and if he resembles me in nothing else, round about his head he is very like me.”[554] While Silenus, to whom the gods paid very little attention, was jesting thus, Octavian entered, changing colour continually, like a chameleon, turning now pale now red; one moment his expression was gloomy, sombre, and overcast, the next he unbent and showed all the charms of Aphrodite and the Graces. Moreover in the glances of his eyes he was fain to resemble mighty Helios, for he preferred that none who approached should be able to meet his gaze.[555] “Good Heavens!” exclaimed Silenus, “what a changeable monster is this! What mischief will he do us?” “Cease trifling,” said Apollo, “after I have handed him over to Zeno[556] here, I shall transform him for you straightway to gold without alloy. Come, Zeno,” he cried, “take charge of my nursling.” Zeno obeyed, and thereupon, by reciting over Octavian a few of his doctrines,[557] in the fashion of those who mutter the incantations of Zamolxis,[558] he made him wise and temperate.)
Τρίτος ἐπεισέδραμεν αὐτοῖς Τιβέριος σεμνὸς τὰ πρόσωπα καὶ βλοσυρός, σῶφρόν τε ἅμα καὶ πολεμικὸν βλέπων. ἐπιστραφέντος δὲ πρὸς τὴν καθέδραν ὤφθησαν ὠτειλαὶ κατὰ τὸν νῶτον μυρίαι, καυτῆρές τινες [D] καὶ ξέσματα καὶ πληγαὶ χαλεπαὶ καὶ μώλωπες ὑπό τε ἀκολασίας καὶ ὠμότητος ψῶραί τινες καὶ λειχῆνες οἷον ἐγκεκαυμέναι. εἶθ᾽ ὁ Σειληνός
(The third to hasten in was Tiberius, with countenance solemn and grim, and an expression at once sober and martial. But as he turned to sit down his back was seen to be covered with countless scars, burns, and sores, painful welts and bruises, while ulcers and abscesses were as though branded thereon, the result of his self-indulgent and cruel life.[559] Whereupon Silenus cried out,)
Ἀλλοῖός μοι, ξεῖνε, φάνης νέον ἢ τὸ πάροιθεν
(“Far different, friend, thou appearest now than before,”[560])
εἰπὼν ἔδοξεν αὑτοῦ φαίνεσθαι σπουδαιότερος. καὶ ὁ Διόνυσος πρὸς αὐτόν, Τί δῆτα, εἶπεν, ὦ παππίδιον σπουδάζεις; καὶ ὅς, Ἐξέπληξέ με ὁ γέρων οὑτοσί, ὁ Σάτυρος, ἔφη, καὶ πεποίηκεν ἐκλαθόμενον ἐμαυτοῦ τὰς Ὁμηρικὰς προβαλέσθαι μούσας. [310] ἀλλά σε, εἶπεν, ἕλξει τῶν ὤτων· λέγεται γὰρ αὐτὸς καὶ γραμματιστήν τινα τοῦτο ἐργάσασθαι. οἰμώζων μὲν οὖν, εἶπεν, ἐν τῷ νησυδρίῳ· τὰς Καπρέας αἰνιττόμενος· τὸν ἄθλιον ἁλιέα ψηχέτω. ταῦτα ἔτι παιζόντων αὐτῶν, ἐπεισέρχεται θηρίον πονηρόν. εἶτα οἱ θεοὶ πάντες ἀπέστρεψαν τὰ ὄμματα, κᾆτα αὐτὸν δίδωσιν ἡ Δίκη ταῖς Ποιναῖς, [B] αἱ δὲ ἔρριψαν εἰς [pg 354] Τάρταρον. οὐδὲν οὖν ἔσχεν ὁ Σειληνὸς ὑπὲρ αὐτοῦ φράσαι. τοῦ Κλαυδίου δὲ ἐπεισελθόντος, ὁ Σειληνὸς ἄρχεται τοὺς Ἀριστοφάνους Ἱππέας ᾄδειν, ἀντὶ τοῦ Δήμου[561] κολακεύων δῆθεν τὸν Κλαύδιον. εἶτα πρὸς τὸν Κυρῖνον ἀπιδών, Ἀδικεῖς, εἶπεν, ὦ Κυρῖνε, τὸν ἀπόγονον ἄγων εἰς τὸ συμπόσιον δίχα τῶν ἀπελευθέρων Ναρκίσσου καὶ Πάλλαντος. ἀλλ᾽ ἴθι, εἶπε, πέμψον ἐπ᾽ ἐκείνους, εἰ βούλει δέ, καὶ ἐπὶ τὴν γαμετὴν Μεσσαλίναν. ἔστι γὰρ ἐκείνων [C] δίχα τουτὶ τῆς τραγωιδίας τὸ δορυφόρημα, μικροῦ δέω φάναι, καὶ ἄψυχον. ἐπεισέρχεται λέγοντι τῷ Σειληνῷ Νέρων μετὰ τῆς κιθάρας καὶ τῆς δάφνης. εἶτα ἀποβλέψας ἐκεῖνος πρὸς τὸν Ἀπόλλωνα, Οὗτος, εἶπεν, ἐπὶ σὲ παρασκευάζεται. καὶ ὁ βασιλεὺς Ἀπόλλων, Ἀλλ᾽ ἔγωγε αὐτόν, εἶπεν, ἀποστεφανώσω, ὅτι με μὴ πάντα μιμεῖται μηδὲ ἐν οἷς με μιμεῖται γίγνεται μου μιμητὴς δίκαιος. ἀποστεφανωθέντα δὲ αὐτὸν ὁ Κωκυτὸς εὐθέως ἥρπασεν.
(and seemed more serious than was his wont. “Pray, why so solemn, little father?” said Dionysus. “It was this old satyr,” he replied, “he shocked me and made me forget myself and introduce Homer's Muse.” “Take care,” said Dionysus, “he will pull your ear, as he is said to have done to a certain grammarian.”[562] “Plague take him,” said Silenus, “in his little island”—he was alluding to Capri—“let him scratch the face of that wretched fisherman.”[563] While they were still joking together, there came in a fierce monster.[564] Thereupon all the gods turned away their eyes from the sight, and next moment Justice handed him over to the Avengers who hurled him into Tartarus. So Silenus had no chance to say anything about him. But when Claudius came in Silenus began to sing some verses from the Knights of Aristophanes,[565] toadying Claudius, as it seemed, instead of Demos. Then he looked at Quirinus and said, “Quirinus, it is not kind of you to invite your descendant to a banquet without his freedmen Narcissus and Pallas.[566] Come,” he went on, “send and fetch them, and please send too for his spouse Messalina, for without them this fellow is like a lay-figure in a tragedy, I might almost say lifeless.”[567] While Silenus was speaking Nero entered, lyre in hand and wearing a wreath of laurel. Whereupon Silenus turned to Apollo and said, “You see he models himself on you.” “I will soon take off that wreath,” replied Apollo, “for he does not imitate me in all things, and even when he does he does it badly.” Then his wreath was taken off and Cocytus instantly swept him away.)
[D] Ἐπὶ τούτῳ πολλοὶ καὶ παντοδαποὶ συνέτρεχον, Βίνδικες, Γάλβαι, Ὄθωνες, Βιτέλλιοι. καὶ ὁ Σειληνός, Τούτων, εἶπε, τῶν μονάρχων τὸ σμῆνος[568] πόθεν ἐξηυρήκατε, ὦ θεοί; τυφόμεθα γοῦν ὑπὸ τοῦ καπνοῦ· φείδεται γὰρ οὐδὲ τῶν ἀνακτόρων ταυτὶ τὰ θηρία. καὶ ὁ Ζεὺς ἀπιδὼν πρὸς τὸν ἀδελφὸν αὑτοῦ [311] Σάραπιν καὶ τὸν Οὐεσπασιανὸν δείξας, Πέμπε, εἶπε, τὸν σμικρίνην· τοῦτον ἀπὸ τῆς Αἰγύπτου ταχέως, ἵνα τὴν φλόγα ταύτην κατασβέσῃ· τῶν παίδων δὲ τὸν πρεσβύτερον [pg 356] μὲν παίζειν κέλευε μετὰ τῆς Ἀφροδίτης τῆς πανδήμου, τὸν νεώτερον δὲ τῷ Σικελικῷ θηρίῳ παραπλησίως κλοιῷ δῆσον. παρῆλθεν ἐπὶ τούτοις γέρων ὀφθῆναι καλός· λάμπει γὰρ ἔστιν ὅτε καὶ ἐν τῷ γήρᾳ τὸ κάλλος· ἐντυχεῖν πρᾳότατος, χρηματίσαι δικαιότατος. [B] ᾐδέσθη τοῦτον ὁ Σειληνὸς καὶ ἀπεσιώπησεν. εἶτα ὁ Ἑρμῆς, Ὕπὲρ δὲ τούτου, εἶπεν, οὐδὲν ἡμῖν λέγεις; Ναὶ μὰ Δί᾽, ἔφη, μέμφομαί γε ὑμῖν τῆς ἀνισότητος. τῷ γὰρ φονικῷ θηρίῳ τρὶς πέντε νείμαντες ἐνιαυτοὺς ἕνα μόλις ἐδώκατε τούτῳ βασιλεῦσαι. Ἀλλὰ μὴ μέμφου, εἶπεν ὁ Ζεύς· [C] εἰσάξω γὰρ ἐπὶ τούτῳ πολλοὺς κἈγαθούς. εὐθέως οὖν ὁ Τραïανὸς εἰσήρχετο φέρων ἐπὶ τῶν ὤμων τὰ τρόπαια, τό τε Γετικὸν καὶ τὸ Παρθικόν. ἰδὼν δὲ αὐτὸν ὁ Σειληνὸς ἔφη, λανθάνειν τε ἅμα καὶ ἀκούεσθαι βουλόμενος. Ὥρα νῦν τῷ δεσπότῃ Διὶ σκοπεῖν, ὅπως ὁ Γανυμήδης αὐτῷ φρουρήσεται.
(After Nero many Emperors of all sorts came crowding in together, Vindex, Galba, Otho, Vitellius, so that Silenus exclaimed, “Where, ye gods, have ye found such a swarm of monarchs? We are being suffocated with their smoke; for brutes of this sort spare not even the temple of the gods.”[569] Then Zeus turned to his brother Serapis, and pointing to Vespasian said, “Send this niggard from Egypt forthwith to extinguish the flames. As for his sons, bid the eldest[570] sport with Aphrodite Pandemos and chain the younger[571] in the stocks like the Sicilian monster.”[572] Next entered an old man,[573] beautiful to behold; for even old age can be radiantly beautiful. Very mild were his manners, most just his dealings. In Silenus he inspired such awe that he fell silent. “What!” said Hermes, “have you nothing to say to us about this man?” “Yes, by Zeus,” he replied, “I blame you gods for your unfairness in allowing that blood-thirsty monster to rule for fifteen years, while you granted this man scarce one whole year.” “Nay,” said Zeus, “do not blame us. For I will bring in many virtuous princes to succeed him.” Accordingly Trajan entered forthwith, carrying on his shoulders the trophies of his wars with the Getae and the Parthians. Silenus, when he saw him, said in a whisper which he meant to be heard, “Now is the time for Zeus our master to look out, if he wants to keep Ganymede for himself.”)