Ἀλλ᾽ ὁ Ῥωμαῖος Κάτων, ὅπως μὲν ἔχων πώγωνος οὐκ οἶδα, παρ᾽ ὁντινοῦν δὲ τῶν ἐπὶ σωφροσύνῃ καὶ μεγαλοψυχίᾳ καὶ τὸ μέγιστον ἀνδρείᾳ μέγα φρονούντων ἄξιος ἐπαινεῖσθαι, προσιὼν τῇδε τῇ πολυανθρώπῳ καὶ τρυφερᾷ καὶ πλουσίᾳ πόλει [B] τοὺς ἐφήβους ἰδὼν ἐν τῷ προαστείῳ μετὰ τῶν ἀρχόντων ἐσταλμένους ὡς ἐπί τινα δορυφορίαν ἐνόμισεν αὑτοῦ χάριν ὑμῶν τοὺς προγόνους τὴν παρασκευὴν πᾶσαν πεποιῆσθαι· καὶ θᾶσσον ἀποβὰς τοῦ ἵππου προῆγεν ἅμα καὶ πρὸς τοὺς προλαβόντας τῶν φίλων δυσχεραίνων ὡς μηνυτὰς γενομένους αὐτοῖς, ὅτι Κάτων προσάγει, καὶ ἀναπείσαντας ἐκδραμεῖν. ὄντος δ᾽ ἐν τοιούτοις αὐτοῦ καὶ διαποροῦντος ἠρέμα καὶ ἐρυθριῶντος, ὁ γυμνασίαρχος προσδραμών, Ὦ ξένε, ἔφη, [C] ποῦ Δημήτριος; ἦν δ᾽ οὗτος ἀπελεύθερος Πομπηίου, κεκτημένος οὐσίαν πολλὴν πάνυ· μέτρον δ᾽ αὐτῆς εἰ ποθεῖτε μαθεῖν· οἶμαι γὰρ ὑμᾶς ἐκ πάντων τῶν λεγομένων πρὸς [pg 478] ταύτην μάλιστα ὡρμῆσθαι τὴν ἀκοήν· ἐγὼ τὸν εἰπόντα φράσω. Δαμοφίλῳ τῷ Βιθυνῷ πεποίηται συγγράμματα τοιαῦτα, ἐν οἷς δρεπόμενος ἐκ βίβλων πολλῶν[757] εἰργάσατο [D] λόγους ἡδίστους νέῳ φιληκόῳ καὶ πρεσβυτέρῳ· φιλεῖ γὰρ τὸ γῆρας ἐπανάγειν αὖθις εἰς τὴν τῶν νέων φιληκοΐαν τοὺς ἀφηλικεστέρους· ὅθεν οἶμαι συμβαίνει νέους καὶ πρεσβύτας ἐξ ἴσης εἶναι φιλομύθους· εἶεν. ὁ δὲ δὴ Κάτων ὅπως ἀπήντησε τῷ γυμνασιάρχῳ βούλεσθε φράσω; μή με λοιδορεῖν ὑπολάβητε τὴν πόλιν· οὐκ ἔστιν ὁ λόγος ἐμός. εἴ τις ἀφῖκται [359] περιφερομένη καὶ εἰς ὑμᾶς ἀκοὴ Χαιρωνέως ἀνδρὸς ἐκ τοῦ φαύλου γένους, ὁ δὴ λέγεται παρὰ τῶν ἀλαζόνων φιλόσοφον· οὗ δὴ καὶ αὐτὸς οὐκ ἐφικόμην μέν, ηὐξάμην δὲ ὑπὸ ἀμαθίας κοινωνῆσαι καὶ μετασχεῖν. ταῦτα οὖν ἐκεῖνος ἔφρασεν, ὡς ὁ Κάτων ἀπεκρίνατο μὲν οὐδέν, βοήσας δὲ μόνον οἷά τις ἔμπληκτος καὶ ἀνόητος ἄνθρωπος, Ὢ τῆς κακοδαίμονος πόλεως, ἀπιὼν ᾤχετο.
(Cato the Roman,[758] however,—how he wore his beard I do not know,[759] but he deserves to be praised in comparison with anyone of those who pride themselves on their temperance and nobility of soul and on their courage above all,—he, I say, once visited this populous and luxurious and wealthy city; and when he saw the youths in the suburb drawn up in full array, and with them the magistrates, as though for some military display, he thought your ancestors had made all those preparations in his honour. So he quickly dismounted from his horse and came forward, though at the same time he was vexed with those of his friends who had preceded him for having informed the citizens that Cato was approaching, and so induced them to hasten forth. And while he was in this position, and was slightly embarrassed and blushing, the master of the gymnasium ran to meet him and called out “Stranger, where is Demetrius?” Now this Demetrius was a freedman of Pompey, who had acquired a very large fortune; and if you want to know the amount of it,—for I suppose that in all that I am now telling you are most anxious to hear this,—I will tell you who has related the story. Damophilus of Bithynia has written compositions of this sort, and in them, by culling ancedotes from many books, he has produced tales that give the greatest delight to anyone who loves to listen to gossip, whether he be young or old. For old age usually revives in the elderly that love of gossip which is natural to the young; and this is, I think, the reason why both the old and the young are equally fond of stories. Well then, to return to Cato. Do you want me to tell you how he greeted the master of the gymnasium? Do not imagine that I am slandering your city; for the story is not my own.[760] If any rumour has come round, even to your ears, of the man of Chaeronea,[761] who belongs to that worthless class of men who are called by impostors philosophers,—I myself never attained to that class though in my ignorance I claimed to be a member of it and to have part in it,—well he, as I was saying, related that Cato answered not a word, but only cried aloud like a man stricken with madness and out of his senses, “Alas for this ill-fated city!” and took himself off.)
Μὴ δὴ θαυμάσητε, τοῦτο εἰ καὶ ἐγὼ νυνὶ πάσχω πρὸς ὑμᾶς, [B] ἀνὴρ ἀγριώτερος ἐκείνου καὶ θρασύτερος τοσούτῳ καὶ αὐθαδέστερος, ὅσον οἱ Κελτοὶ Ῥωμαίων. ὁ μὲν γὰρ ἐκεῖσε τεχθεὶς ἐγγὺς ἦλθε γήρως ἅμα τοῖς πολίταις τρεφόμενος· ἐμοὶ δὲ Κελτοὶ καὶ Γερμανοὶ καὶ δρυμὸς Ἑρκύνιος ἔμελεν ἄρτι πρῶτον εἰς ἄνδρας τελοῦντι, καὶ διέτριψα πολὺν ἤδη χρόνον, ὥσπερ τις κυνηγέτης [pg 480] ἀγρίοις ὁμιλῶν καὶ συμπλεκόμενος θηρίοις, [C] ἤθεσιν ἐντυγχάνων οὔτε θοπεύειν οὔτε κολακεύειν εἰδόσιν, ἁπλῶς δὲ καὶ ἐλευθέρως ἐκ τοῦ ἴσου πᾶσι προσφέρεσθαι. γέγονεν οὖν μοι μετὰ τὴν ἐκ παίδον τροφὴν ἥ τε ἐν μειρακίοις ὁδὸς διὰ τῶν Πλάτωνος καὶ Ἀριστοτέλους λόγων οὐδαμῶς ἐπιτηδείων δήμοις ἐντυγχάνειν οἰομένοις ὑπὸ τρυφῆς εὐδαιμονεστάτοις[762] εἶναι, ἥ τε ἐν ἀνδράσιν αὐτουργία παρὰ τοῖς μαχιμωτάτοις καὶ θυνικωτάτοις τῶν ἐθνῶν, ὅπου τὴν γαμηλίαν Ἀφροδίτην καὶ τὸν μεθυδότην Διόνυσον γάμου τε ἕνεκα καὶ παιδοποιίας οἴνου τε ὁπόσης ἑκάστῳ δυνατὸν πόσεως ἴσασι μόνον. [D] ἀσέλγεια δ᾽ οὐκ ἔστιν ἐν τοῖς θεάτροις οὐδὲ ὕβρις, οὐδὲ ἕλκει τις εἴσω τῆς σκηνῆς τὸν κόρδακα.
(Therefore do not be surprised if I now feel towards you as I do, for I am more uncivilised than he, and more fierce and headstrong in proportion as the Celts are more so than the Romans. He was born in Rome and was nurtured among Roman citizens till he was on the threshold of old age. But as for me, I had to do with Celts and Germans and the Hercynian forest[763] from the moment that I was reckoned a grown man, and I have by now spent a long time there, like some huntsman who associates with and is entangled among wild beasts. There I met with temperaments that know not how to pay court or flatter, but only how to behave simply and frankly to all men alike. Then after my nurture in childhood, my path as a boy took me through the discourses of Plato and Aristotle, which are not at all suited for the reading of communities who think that on account of their luxury they are the happiest of men. Then I had to work hard myself among the most warlike and high-spirited of all nations, where men have knowledge of Aphrodite, goddess of Wedlock, only for the purpose of marrying and having children, and know Dionysus the Drink-Giver, only for the sake of just so much wine as each can drink at a draught. And in their theatres no licentiousness or insolence exists, nor does any man dance the cordax on their stage.)
Λέγεταί τοι μικρῷ πρόσθεν ὡς ἐνθένδε ἐκεῖσέ τις Καππαδόκης φυγάς, ἐν τῇ παρ᾽ ὑμῖν τραφεὶς πόλει παρὰ τῷ χρυσοχίῳ· γνωρίζετε δήπουθεν ὃν λέγω· μαθὼν ὅπου καὶ ἔμαθεν, ὡς οὐ δέον ὁμιλεῖν γυναιξί, μειρακίοις δ᾽ ἐπιχειρεῖν, οὐκ οἶδα ὁπόσα ἐνθάδε δράσας καὶ παθών, [360]ἐπειδὴ παρὰ τὸν ἐκεῖσε βασιλέα πρῴην ἀφίκετο, μνήμῃ τῶν τῇδε πολλοὺς μὲν ὀρχηστὰς αὐτοῖς ἐπαγαγεῖν, ἄλλα δὲ τὰ ἐντεῦθεν ἀγαθὰ τοιαῦτα, καὶ δή καὶ τέλος ὡς ἐνεδέησεν ἔτι κοτυλιστοῦ· [pg 482] τοῦτο δ᾽ ὑμεῖς ἴστε πρὸς τῷ ἔργῳ τὸ ὄνομα· καὶ τοῦτον ἐνθένδε ἐκάλει πόθῳ καὶ ἔρωτι τῆς σεμνῆς παρ᾽ ὑμῖν διαίτης. οἱ Κελτοὶ δὲ τὸν μὲν κοτυλιστὴν ἠγνόησαν, [B] ἐδέξατο γὰρ αὐτὸν αὐτίκα τὰ βασίλεια, τοὺς ὀρχηστὰς δὲ ἐπιτραπέντας ἐπιδείκνυσθαι[764] ἐν τῷ θεάτρῳ τὴν τέχνην εἴασαν οἰόμενοι τοῖς νυμφολήπτοις αὐτοὺς ἐοικέναι. καὶ ἦν αὐτοῖς ἐκεῖ παραπλησίως ἐμοὶ καταγελαστότατον τὸ θέατρον· ἀλλ᾽ οἱ μὲν ὀλίγοι πολλῶν κατεγέλων, ἐγὼ δὲ ξὺν ὀλίγοις ἐνθάδε γελοῖος ὑμῖν ἅπασι τὰ πάντα φαίνομαι.
(A story is told of them that not long ago a certain Cappadocian was exiled from here to that place, a man who had been brought up in your city in the house of the goldsmith—you know of course whom I mean,—and had learned, as he naturally did learn there, that one ought not to have intercourse with women but to pay attentions to youths. And when, after doing and suffering here I know not what, he went to the court of the king in that country, he took with him to remind him of your habits here a number of dancers and other such delights from this city; and then finally since he still needed a cotylist[765]—you know the word and the thing too—he invited him also from here, because of his longing and love for the austere mode of life that prevails with you. Now the Celts never made the acquaintance of the cotylist, since he was at once admitted into the palace; but when the dancers began to display their art in the theatre, the Celts left them alone because they thought that they were like men stricken with nympholepsy. And the theatre seemed to the men in that country highly ridiculous, just as it does to me; but whereas the Celts were a few ridiculing many, I here along with a few others seem absurd in every way to all of you.)
[C] Καὶ οὐκ ἀγανακτῶ τῷ πράγματι. καὶ γὰρ ἂν εἴην ἄδικος εἰ μὴ καὶ τοῖς παροῦσι στέργοιμι, διαφερόντως ἀσπασάμενος ἐκεῖνα. Κελτοὶ μὲν γὰρ οὕτω με δι᾽ ὁμοιότητα τρόπων ἠγάπησαν, ὥστε ἐτόλμησαν οὐχ ὅπλα μόνον ὑπὲρ ἐμοῦ λαβεῖν, ἀλλὰ καὶ χρήματα ἔδωκαν πολλά, καὶ παραιτούμενον ὀλίγου καὶ ἐβιάσαντο λαβεῖν, καὶ πρὸς πάντα ἑτοίμως ὑπήκουσαν. ὃ δὲ δὴ μέγιστον, ἐκεῖθεν εἰς ὑμᾶς ἐφέρετο πολὺ τὸ ἐμὸν ὄνομα, καὶ ἐβόων πάντες ἀνδρεῖον, συνετόν, δίκαιον, οὐ πολέμῳ μόνον ὁμιλῆσαι δεινόν, [D] ἀλλὰ καὶ εἴρηνῃ χρήσασθαι δεξιόν, εὐπρόσιτον, πρᾷον· ὑμεῖς δὲ αὐτοῖς ἀντιδεδώκατε νῦν ἐνθένδε πρῶτον μέν, ὅτι παρ᾽ ἐμὲ τὰ τοῦ κόσμου πράγματα ἀνατέτραπται· σύνοιδα δὲ οὐδὲν ἀνατρέπων ἐμαυτῷ οὔτε ἑκὼν οὔτε ἄκων· εἶτα, ὡς ἐκ τοῦ πώγωνός μου χρὴ πλέκειν σχοινία, καὶ ὅτι πολεμῶ τῷ Χῖ, πόθος δὲ ὑμᾶς εἴσεισι τοῦ Κάππα. καὶ ὑμῖν γε αὐτὸ οἱ [pg 484] πολιοῦχοι τῆσδε τῆς πόλεως θεοὶ διπλοῦν δοῖεν, ὅτι πρὸς τούτῳ [361] καὶ τὰς ἀστυγείτονας ἐσυκοφαντήσατε πόλεις ἱερὰς καὶ ὁμοδούλους ἐμοί, ὡς δὴ παρ᾽ αὐτῶν εἴη τὰ εἰς ἐμὲ ξυντεθέντα, ὃν εὖ οἶδ᾽ ὅτι φιλοῦσιν ἐκεῖναι μᾶλλον ἢ τοὺς ἑαυτῶν υἱέας, οἳ τὰ μὲν τῶν θεῶν ἀνέστησαν αὐτίκα τεμένη, τοὺς τάφους δὲ τῶν ἀθέων ἀνέτρεψαν πάντας. ἀπὸ τοῦ συνθήματος, ὃ δὴ δέδοται παρ᾽ ἐμοῦ πρῴην, οὕτως ἐπαρθέντες τὸν νοῦν καὶ μετέωροι γενόμενοι τὴν διάνοιαν, ὡς καὶ πλέον ἐπεξελθεῖν τοῖς [B] εἰς τοὺς θεοὺς πλημμελοῦσιν ἢ βουλομένῳ μοι ἦν.
(This is a fact which I do not resent. And indeed it would be unjust of me not to make the best of the present state of things, after having so greatly enjoyed the life among the Celts. For they loved me so much, on account of the similarity of our dispositions, that not only did they venture to take up arms on my behalf, but they gave me large sums of money besides; and when I would have declined it, they almost forced me to take it, and in all things readily obeyed me. And what was most wonderful of all, a great report of me travelled thence to your city, and all men proclaimed loudly that I was brave, wise and just, not only terrible to encounter in war, but also skilful in turning peace to account, easy of access and mild-tempered. But now you have sent them tidings from here in return, that in the first place the affairs of the whole world have been turned upside down by me—though indeed I am not conscious of turning anything upside down, either voluntarily or involuntarily; secondly, that I ought to twist ropes from my beard, and that I war against the Chi and that you begin to regret the Kappa. Now may the guardian gods of this city grant you a double allowance of the Kappa![766] For besides this you falsely accused the neighbouring cities, which are holy and the slaves of the gods, like myself, of having produced the satires which were composed against me; though I know well that those cities love me more than their own sons, for they at once restored the shrines of the gods and overturned all the tombs[767] of the godless, on the signal that was given by me the other day; and so excited were they in mind and so exalted in spirit that they even attacked those who were offending against the gods with more violence than I could have wished.)
Τὰ δ᾽ ὑμέτερα· πολλοὶ μὲν ἐγειρομένους ἄρτι τοὺς βωμοὺς ἀνέτρεψαν, οὓς ἡ πρᾳότης ἡμῶν ἐδίδαξε μόλις ἡσυχάζειν. ἐπεὶ δὲ ἀπεπεμψάμεθα τὸν νεκρὸν τῆς Δάφνης, οἱ μὲν ἀφοσιούμενοι τὰ πρὸς τοὺς θεοὺς ἐξ ὑμῶν ἀντέδωκαν τοῖς ὑπὲρ τῶν λειψάνων ἠγανακτηκόσι [C] τοῦ νεκροῦ τὸ τέμενος τοῦ Δαφναίου θεοῦ, οἱ δὲ εἴτε λαθόντες εἴτε μὴ τὸ πῦρ ἐνεῖσαν[768] ἐκεῖνο, τοῖς μὲν ἐπιδημοῦσι τῶν ξένων φρικῶδες, ὑμῶν δὲ τῷ δήμῳ μὲν ἡδονὴν παρασχόν, [pg 486] ὑπὸ δὲ τῆς βουλῆς ἀμεληθὲν καὶ εἰσέτι ἀμελούμενον. ἐμοὶ μὲν οὖν ἐδόκει καὶ πρὸ τοῦ πυρὸς ἀπολελοιπέναι τὸν νεὼν ὁ θεός, ἐπεσήμηνε γὰρ εἰσελθόντι μοι πρῶτον τὸ ἄγαλμα, καὶ τούτου μάρτυρα καλῶ τὸν μέγαν Ἥλιον πρὸς τοὺς ἀπιστοῦντας, ὑμᾶς δὲ ὑπομνῆσαι βούλομαι καὶ ἄλλης ἀπεχθείας εμῆς, [D] ἔπειτα, ὅπερ εἴωθα ποιεῖν ἐπιεικῶς, ὀνειδίσαι ἐμαυτῷ καὶ ὑπὲρ ταύτης καὶ κατηγορῆσαι καὶ μέμψασθαι.
(But now consider your own behaviour. Many of you overturned the altars of the gods which had only just been erected, and with difficulty did my indulgent treatment teach you to keep quiet. And when I sent away the body from Daphne,[769] some of you, in expiation of your conduct towards the gods, handed over the shrine of the god of Daphne to those who were aggrieved about the relics of the body, and the rest of you, whether by accident or on purpose, hurled against the shrine that fire which made the strangers who were visiting your city shudder, but gave pleasure to the mass of your citizens and was ignored and is still ignored by your Senate. Now, in my opinion, even before that fire the god had forsaken the temple, for when I first entered it his holy image gave me a sign thereof. I call mighty Helios to bear me witness of this before all unbelievers. And now I wish to remind you of yet another reason for your hatred of me, and then to abuse myself—a thing which I usually do fairly well—and both to accuse and blame myself with regard to that hatred.)