They all pretended to believe that I should remain at Metz, and I tried to hide my fears from them. But the effort almost suffocated me, and I could hardly avoid sobbing, when happily I thought I would go and announce the news to Aunt Grédel. So I said, "Although it will not be very long, and I shall stay in Metz, yet I must go and tell the good news to Aunt Grédel. I will be back between five and six, and Catherine will have time to prepare my haversack, and we will have supper."
"Yes, Joseph, go!" said Father Goulden. Catherine said not a word, for she could hardly restrain her tears. I set off like a madman. Zébédé, who was returning to the barracks, told me at the door, that the officer in charge at the town-house would give me my uniform, and that I must be there about five o'clock. I listened, as if in a dream, to his words, and ran till I was outside of the city. Once on the glacis I ran on without knowing where, in the trenches, and by the Trois-Châteaux and the Baraques-à-en-haut, and along the forest to Quatre Vents.
I cannot describe to you the thoughts that ran through my brain. I was bewildered, and wanted to run away to Switzerland. But the worst of all was when I approached Quatre Vents by the path along the Daun. It was about three o'clock. Aunt Grédel was putting up some poles for her beans, in the rear of the garden, and she saw me in the distance, and said to herself:
"Why it is Joseph! what is he doing in the grain?"
But when I got into the road, which was full of ruts and sand and which the sun made as hot as a furnace, I went on more slowly with my head bent down, thinking I should never dare to go in, when, suddenly aunt exclaimed from behind the hedge, "Is it you, Joseph?"
Then I shivered. "Yes, it is I."
She ran out into the little elder alley, and seeing me so pale she said, "I know why you have come, you are going away!"
"Yes," I replied, "the others are going, but I am to stay in Metz; it is very fortunate."
She said nothing, and we went into the kitchen, which was very cool compared with the heat outside. She sat down, and I read her the commandant's letter. She listened to it, and repeated, "Yes, it is very fortunate."
And we sat and looked at each other without speaking a word, and then she took my head between her hands and kissed me, and embraced me for a long time, and I could see she was crying, though she did not say a word.