“NO WAITING HERE!
“Good-morning! Have you worshipped one of Ti Hung’s refined ninety-nine cash idols?
“Let the purchasers of ill-constructed idols at other establishments, where they have grown old and venerable while waiting for the all-thumb proprietors to count up to ten, come to the shop of Ti Hung and regain their lost youth. Our ninety-nine cash idols are worth a tael a set. We do not, however, claim that they will do everything. The ninety-nine cash idols of Ti Hung will not, for example, purify linen, but even the most contented and frozen-brained person cannot be happy until he possesses one. What is happiness? The exceedingly well-educated Philosopher defines it as the accomplishment of all our desires. Everyone desires one of the Ti Hung’s ninety-nine cash idols, therefore get one; but be sure that it is Ti Hung’s.
“Have you a bad idol? If so, dismiss it, and get one of Ti Hung’s ninety-nine cash specimens.
“Why does your idol look old sooner than your neighbours? Because yours is not one of Ti Hung’s ninety-nine cash marvels.
“They bring all delights to the old and the young, The elegant idols supplied by Ti Hung.
“N.B.—The ‘Great Sacrifice’ idol, forty-five cash; delivered, carriage free, in quantities of not less than twelve, at any temple, on the evening before the sacrifice.
“It was about this time that Li Ting returned. His journey had been more than usually successful, and he was well satisfied in consequence. It was not until he had made out his accounts and handed in his money that Ti Hung informed him of his agreement with Yung Chang.
“‘Oh, most treacherous and excessively unpopular Ti Hung,’ exclaimed Li Ting, in a terrible voice, ‘this is the return you make for all my entrancing efforts in your services, then? It is in this way that you reward my exceedingly unconscientious recommendations of your very inferior and unendurable clay idols, with their goggle eyes and concave stomachs! Before I go, however, I request to be inspired to make the following remark—that I confidently predict your ruin. And now this low and undignified person will finally shake the elegant dust of your distinguished house from his thoroughly inadequate feet, and proceed to offer his incapable services to the rival establishment over the way.’
“‘The machinations of such an evilly-disposed person as Li Ting will certainly be exceedingly subtle,’ said Ti Hung to his son-in-law when the traveller had departed. ‘I must counteract his omens. Herewith I wish to prophecy that henceforth I shall enjoy an unbroken run of good fortune. I have spoken, and assuredly I shall not eat my words.’