"Were you, indeed?" cried Sam. "Do tell me all about those wars. They were such great affairs."
"Yes, they were. Not much like this business here. Nothing could stop us in the Sudan, and when we dug up the Mahdi and threw his body away there was nothing left of the rebellion. I believe the best way to settle things here would be to dig up somebody—Confusus, for instance. If there's anything of that kind to be done our army could do it in style."
"It must be a very effective means of subjugating people," said Sam.
"Yes, and would you believe it? the natives objected to it. They asked us what we would think of it if they dug up our Queen. Just think of it! The impudent niggers! As if there was any similarity in the two cases."
"Outrageous," said Sam.
"And even at home and in Parliament, when our general was sitting in the gallery hearing them discuss how much money they would give him, some of the members protested against our digging the old fraud up. It was a handsome thing for the general to go there and face them down."
"It showed great tact, and I may say—delicacy," said Sam.
"Yes, indeed," said the captain. "That's his strong point."
"But I suppose that the war in South Africa was even greater," said Sam.
"Rather. Why we captured four thousand of those Boers with only forty thousand men. No wonder all Anglia went wild over it. Lord Bobbets went home and they gave him everything they could think of in the way of honors. It was a fitting tribute."