Well, here we are in Spain and we have been presented to Spain’s King and Queen. Pa won’t display his air ship here. We are to stay only ten days, then return back to London for our homeward trip. We shall stay in Liverpool some weeks, I expect, as Pa has a cousin there who is crazy about air ships, so Pa will stay with them and I expect he and Pa will plan another wonder.
LETTER XI
Well, dear little book, nine busy and happy months have passed since I have been able to find you. I have lots more stories to put down when I get time, but I will only record the one that seems to me most wonderful to-day. Pa has had the most wonderful success with his air ship, but I somehow cling pretty strongly to earth and my dear old darling Franklin car. She’s a beauty and just as fine as ever, and I like her better every day. She is like a dear friend, the more you know their beautiful traits of character the more you love them, and that’s the way with my Franklin—a royal friend, proved solid, true and loyal—what more could one ask of an automobile. Pa says Jimmy is getting on fine in his studies. He is learning to be a valued boy for Pa, and his nameless wonder. The only trouble with Jimmy is that he wants the band going all the time, and he to dance. Pa asked him how he expected to dance and motor both at the same time, but he will; he will dance and hop and keep his hands on the wheel. It’s a funny sight.
Well, what I started out to say was that “Jimmy Jones” has a newspaper record. His picture was in the paper and he got dozens of them and had them all pinned up all over our private garage last Sunday week. We had an awful, awful thunder-storm and Jimmy was in the garage with Teddy, the yellow dog. Well, all of a sudden an awful flash of lightning came and the thunder was so loud that we were all most stunned. Jimmy declared it clean knocked him off his pins. A few seconds after the flash and thunder was over Jimmy noticed a ball the size of a large orange and about the same color, bobbing against the window pane, like a grampa longlegs in summer. Jimmy said it crackled and sputtered like anything, as it bobbed against the pane, like a rubber ball. When he opened the window the ball bounced into the room and floated about the room like a balloon. Jimmy grabbed the broom used to sweep the garage, and struck at it. He hit it several times, but it would bound off again, but at last the blow went home and the ball busted, and hundreds of the most beautiful stones I ever saw fell on the floor. Jimmy ran for Pa and we all went out to see the wonder—which was a wonder. A note was found written in French, saying the Ball and Jewels were from the Planet Jupiter; that the people were men very like us, only they were all golden blonds, both men and women, and that they all spoke the French language; that they had had automobiles and air ships for over five thousand years, and that their best speeder was the Franklin touring car; said the roads were smooth and level, and that they were just natural; that they had been watching this world for a long time, and said we were getting on; said Jupiter had many more men than women, and would like to send some of them here, perhaps they could in 2906, also that precious stones were as thick on Jupiter as fleas are here in haying-time; that the ball of jewels sent was shot out of a lightning cannon, which they hoped would shoot far enough to reach this earth; said if it wasn’t back in six months, they would know some one got it; said the jewels were the finest, but not so expensive there as here, because there they are very plentiful; said the “Man from Now” once lived in Jupiter and they kicked him out, that’s how he was showing around Boston; said there was a man who spent heaps of Jupiter Globe funds and declared he was a brother to Fitzgerald here; said automobiles don’t kill the people in Jupiter because they can all fly, and get out of the way; said they would make it very homelike for any Boston schoolmarms that want husbands; said there were no rum-shops up there (some people of Boston would have to get a new job that are saloon hunters); that the Golden Rule was all the religion they needed, and was signed “Weston Franklin,” the maker of the noted Franklin Automobile.
When Jimmy was telling the gardener about it he said, “Hully gee, how am I to let dose guys know I got de rocks, de Governor says dey are worth a big pile of dough here and he will sell them and invest de money and I will have to study hard and be a man. Golly, does he tink I am a cow? I don’t care. I wouldn’t know what to do with de money, so de Governor might des as well keep it for me. I will go up to Jubator myself some day when dey gits de air ships going safe. I didn’t ever expect to see de one dat went ober across de pond, a few months ago, but it came down safe and all on board. Yes, I’m getting along fine on de automobile. I can run it all right but I can’t keep me feet still when I hear dat band of de Governor’s, though. Say, dat’s a peach you bet yer boots. It’s a hummer. I reckon de Franklin car is de best on de street. Now dey has it on de planet Jubator all de swells will have one here; it will be more de rage dan ever before. Miss Elsie, she says she always felt it was de best one, and she knows what’s good. Yes, I will turn in now. Good night.”
LETTER XII
“Jimmy” has been relating more of his troubles to the gardener. Last night it was so unusual that I will record it, as he seems to be a part of our life in a way. Pa and Levey Cohen say he is naturally a good foundation to build on—and they must know. “Say, Mr. Gardner, what you tink, de boys are calling me Mr. Jones, since de Governor sold dem rocks and got fifty thousand dollars for de lump, and I have had my picture in de Boston ‘American.’ Say Hearst is a pretty good man; he would be all right if he was a Republican, but Dick says he’s on de wrong side of de pump in politics. Anyway he treated me white—made a very decent picture of me. It looks a sight better any day, than I does, Peg says, and she has good eyes, she has. Well, as I was saying, fancy me being called Mr. Jones. Hully gee, it made me sick to me stomach. I wonder if de push tinks I am going to swell up and bust ’cause I’ve got a few dollars now? I ain’t seen it, de Governor says I’se got it, all right, but I don’t feel no different than I did before, except I have de faith dat if I gets a college ice once a week I won’t miss de five cents when I needs a pair of shoes, or a handkerchief. Say, mister, I notices some charge ten cents for dem college ices. I had one what cost ten cents de other week and ’tween you and me I couldn’t see a might of difference in de two, except de price. Dick says I’m like de Irishman. Said all de taste I had was in me mouth. I’ve got on fine at de night school—de teachers say I must drop my slang, but, hully gee! I don’t use any slang, much. I told de Professor to go oil his lamps, and he got mad and kept me after school. I be hanged if I notice that I use much slang. Wouldn’t it bust de buttons off your vest how perticular some folks be? Hully gee! I don’t want to be mean, nor nothing, but I must have time to git my own lamps trimmed, ’cause I’se always had to bump up against it hard, ever since I was born. I would like awful well if I could run up on de silver rays of de moon to dat planet Jubator; it must be a fine place up dare. Just tink, no rivers, and seas, to git drownded in, just deep wells, thick as peas in a pod, but no boats, or ships. Hully gee! only land, land everywhere. I would feel lonesome without de oder of de Charles River here. Sometimes it smells pretty bad, but I could even stand that than no smell at all. Oh, I want to tell yer before I forgit it. I went out in de country last night with Dick, to see his granny what lives out to Salem Willows. Well, they have a little patch of land there behind the house and Dick’s granny keeps a few hens, and she had some nice custards in old cups and we had a feast, let me tell you. Dick’s granny keeps a goat, and a male sheep with big horns. He’s an awful ugly cuss, and we saw ample proof of his ugliness. Dick went out to feed him and he broke his chain and came for Dick lickety slap bang and bunted Dick all over the yard. He tried to get up, but every time he moved the old he sheep would draw back and knock him down. He kept him there for more than an hour, I guess. Last his granny missed him and went to the door and Dick yelled for me to come out and drive the old he sheep off. I got the poker and went for Mr. Sheep. I gave him a good clip over his nose and he didn’t feel like bunting any more; then I turned to Dick and said, ‘Button, button, who got the button?’ and Dick said, ‘Well, if you had been here when I first came out you would have seen plain enough who it was.’ Then we came back home and Dick says he’s no friend to that he sheep any more. I don’t blame him at all. That he sheep ought to have had more sense, but he didn’t. Dat he sheep seemed to have a heap of respect for me after I gave him a rap over his nose. I reckon he would have called me Mr. Jones, if he could talk, with the accent on the Mr.
“The Governor told me if I wanted to get ahead I must get the bulldog grip. I told him I never seed one, and he said, ‘Jimmy, didn’t you ever see an old maid in the country set the bulldog on a tramp and see with what a grip the dog held on to the seat of the tramp’s trousers as he tried to get over the fence?’ I said I had, and he said that was what a bulldog grip means. Just get a strong, good hold and hang on. He said the Mason’s grip wasn’t so strong; said I ought to see a Mason ride the lodge goat. He said it was more fun to see the other fellow do it than to ride yourself.”
We are planning for the Automobile Magazine Cup race. The cup is a stunner; it cost five thousand dollars, the most unique cup ever offered for a race. Pa says I can enter my Franklin Flyer as I am set on it so much. Levey Cohen says I’ll win, so does Jimmy. I hope I do, then folks would have to say a girl can do some things, too, as well as boys and men.