"Colonel Doller is coming to talk to me about that twenty-five foot strip of land," says I to myself; but I was in error.
"Ah, good morning, neighbor Baker, good morning!" cried Colonel Doller, cheerily. "Beautiful weather we 're having—too dry, though, much too dry! All nature is parched. We need rain badly; otherwise the most lamentable consequences will follow. I dare say you have noticed by the paper how alarmingly prevalent conflagrations have become?"
"Have they?" I asked, in genuine surprise.
"Shockingly so," answered Colonel Doller. "The record is simply appalling. If this thing continues a lot of the little mushroom insurance companies will fail; it 's an ill wind that blows nobody good. The public will presently awaken to a realization of the danger of patronizing the irresponsible concerns which are trying to do business under the shadow of the old and reliable companies."
"Do you really think there will be a panic?" I asked.
"Among the small fry, yes," answered Colonel Doller; "but nothing short of a universal cataclysm will feaze to the slightest degree the Vesuvius Assurance Company (limited) of Piddleton, England, the oldest and staunchest insurance company in the world, of which I am, as perhaps you know, the general manager for the western hemisphere."
"We—and when I say we," continued Colonel Doller, "I mean the Vesuvius—we have a cash capital of eighteen million pounds, and a reserve fund of twelve million five hundred and sixty-eight thousand two hundred pounds, three shillings, and six pence. Our losses last year were six million three hundred thousand pounds in round numbers, and our premiums were eight million five hundred and sixty-three thousand two hundred and sixty-five pounds and eighteen pence. So you can see for yourself (for figures do not lie) that the Vesuvius is as solid as the everlasting hills."
"The Royal Liliuokalani is a pretty good company, is n't it?" says I.
"The Royal Liliuokalani?" repeated Colonel Doller. "The Royal Liliuokalani? Let me see—I don't know that I ever heard of it. It's a Milwaukee concern, is n't it?"
"No," said I, "my understanding is that it is a Hawaiian enterprise."