"Had I acted differently, what would have been the result?
"Had I been lavish, my prodigality would have left you in misery; and had I spent my income only, we would doubtless have lived in idleness and enjoyed a few physical joys or vain satisfactions, but what would we have gained?
"Should we have become better? I know not. But at my death I would have left you a reasonable income only, and not sufficient to realize any large and generous undertaking.
"One last word, my dear son, in answer to a reproach you may address my memory.
"Believe me, if you have been left in ignorance of my riches, it was not through a sentiment of dissimulation or distrust of you.
"These were my reasons:
"Had you known of my riches, though you might perhaps have accepted the humble existence I imposed on you without a murmur, you would have accused me in your heart of harshness and egotism; and, who knows, the certainty of future riches might perhaps also have impaired your precious qualities.
"This is not all—-forgive me this foolish fear, this apprehension which is so unjust to your excellent heart—but to enjoy your filial affection in all its purity and disinterestedness during my life, it was necessary that you should have no thought of an opulent inheritance after my death.
"Another reason, the gravest of all, perhaps, has led me to conceal my riches—I love you so tenderly, that it would have been impossible for me to see you undergo any privation if you had known that I could provide the most sumptuous existence for you.
"Notwithstanding the apparent contradiction that seems to exist between this sentiment and my avaricious conduct toward you, I hope, my dear child, that you will understand my thought.