This uneasiness revealed to me all the strength of the affection I bore him.
By what miracle had this friendship so suddenly developed? How came its roots to be already so deep, in spite of my distrust, in spite of my habitual incredulity?
I do not know, but it was so, and we had travelled together scarcely one month.
Perhaps this rapid progress would seem less surprising, if one considered the secret instinct which had attracted us to each other before our departure.
I took up my arms.
I had then a moment of frightful agony.
In thinking of the danger we were to run, I feared being cowardly, or, rather, that my courage might not reach the height of a noble sacrifice; I asked myself if, in supreme danger, I could sacrifice my life to save Falmouth's, and, I confess to my shame, I dared not reply with certainty.
It is true, I knew myself to be brave, with a cool, stubborn bravery. I had had a duel in which my calm energy had done me honour: but was that true courage? Can a man, well born, refuse a duel? Can he bear himself becomingly, except through good breeding or pride?
I did not know, therefore, if I should have the thoughtless, fulgurating courage which turns to danger as steel to the magnet, which exalts itself still more in a bloody conflict, and which, hovering above all danger, directs its blows with a sure hand, choosing its victims.
I believed I felt, in a word, the cool and inert bravery of the artillery man, who, near his battery, awaits a bullet without turning pale, but not the excited intrepidity of the partisan who, sword in hand, throws himself, with ferocious zeal, into the midst of the carnage.