We two younger sisters also knew Yaroshinsky. He was a rich banker and during the war, he financed Marie’s and my hospital in Tsarskoe Selo. Once he told Marie and me, while at the hospital office, that he had come to Russia with his poverty stricken Polish parents to work in the mines. Marie remarked later, “But where did he get all the money?” However, the conversation had come to an end.
Mother warned Anna to be careful about whom she was sending to Tobolsk. Moreover, she warned her to destroy all our letters and not to involve people not known to us. Anna failed to heed those warnings and in the end Mother died with a feeling of bitterness toward her well-meaning but careless friend. We knew Anna did not do it intentionally but from stupidity.
Yurovsky was right. We had been betrayed. Poor Father had had no part in it. It was clear to us then that the leaders in Moscow knew of Father’s firmness, but Yakovlev, who was in charge of Father on the train, felt that if Father came to Moscow, he might be persuaded to compromise with the leaders—Mirbach, Ludendorff, Lenin, Kamenev and Trotsky. My Father never would have done anything to harm his people. Father made Yakovlev understand that he could expect no appeasement from him; that he would rather have his right hand cut off than sign anything that would harm Russia. He also told Yakovlev that he was prepared to sacrifice his life for his country. Yakovlev, Father said, had telephoned Moscow of Father’s stubbornness. They knew that Father was dangerous to them and that his people wanted to have their Emperor back on the throne. They decided that Father’s presence would ruin their negotiations and that the best thing to do would be to keep him in Ekaterinburg. Yakovlev however had disobeyed the orders from Moscow and kept the train that carried Father shuttling back and forth for four days till they were finally detained in Ekaterinburg. Yakovlev had given Father to understand that he himself was against the foreign invaders and the traitors.
The Emperor and his family were clearly not their own masters—they belonged to Russia. He was the father of all Russia and the children were the children of Russia. He tried to impress his family to be simple and not to show importance and conceit, but to be humble and kind toward the people and serve them in good faith.
It was decay and disunity that poisoned and divided the people from the Emperor and split the Imperial family into factions. It was not a cyclone that ripped apart and ravaged the Empire, but a disaster and robbery planned from abroad years before by insidious men, and when the first opportunity presented itself, they struck a deadly blow to this great Slavic Empire. How many other great ancient empires suffered the same fate—Egypt, Babylon, Persia, Rome, and others. It was an epoch of short-sightedness on the part of the people who were not able to see with their own eyes what the Emperor and Empress saw, and failed to recognize the accomplishments they had achieved for Russia. But they looked blindly in trust to the very ones who were murdering their country before their very eyes.
It was hard for the Emperor and his family to die, but it was even harder for him to die with the knowledge that his death was also the death of Russia. He could have saved himself and his family by signing the disastrous treaty of Brest-Litovsk, but not he; he could not do this to his country, the land he loved beyond all measure. He would not do it, even in the moment of the greatest personal danger. He never broke his fidelity to the oath that he took on the day of his coronation, and he carried this heavy load on his shoulders, courageously and uncomplainingly, for more than twenty-two years. Many people do not see or do not want to see the full extent of those demoniacal days; neither do they see the grandeur of the deeds performed by this great man, the Emperor Nicholas II.
Many thought that the Emperor was not powerful enough to bear the Russian crown. The world did not realize the strength it took to carry this burden of representing innumerable races. That alone would have broken the stamina of any ordinary man. The Emperor was made a constant victim, but the strength, loyalty, and superhuman power which made up this man, in contrast, were lacking in his contemporaries.
Those who really knew Father would readily admit that his predominant characteristics were fearlessness, kindness, honesty, loyalty and firmness. When he knew he was right, he stood by his convictions. He was often called the “Stubborn Tsar.” He disliked gossip and idleness and refused to listen to those who warned him against his enemies and spies.
An officer who later helped me escape from Russia told me the names of several officers who were involved in actions against Father. There were some good names; one was the son of a high Finnish statesman appointed to his position by Father. The son was an officer and was a coward; he feared being wounded. He received money from the Germans to help in the attack against my Father.
I knew Father for seventeen years of my life, especially closely during our imprisonment, when we were together almost every minute of the day. His refusal to save himself and his family at the expense of Russia should be proof enough of his strength and character. When Moscow pressured him, Father with deep emotion said, “My family and I will never agree to what they ask me to do, no matter what happens. Anything they have to say, they should say to me and leave my family out of it. They have taken everything away from them, their youth and freedom, but none of them will yield to German spies and convicts who do not represent Russia, and will never forsake the Russian people.” Father suspected the final outcome. He knew Moscow’s intentions of discrediting him before his people, but he stood firm in his refusal. Even in the hour of danger, he respected his high morals and obligations. Most of the conversation was conducted through Dr. Botkin. Father seldom came in contact with these men. It may have been during these conversations that Dr. Botkin said to Father, “When I needed your help you were very kind to me, and I have made my mind up never to leave you as long as I am needed.”