"Thank you." I stabbed out at the shift key, and locked it in place.

DON'T THANK ME. I'M JUST TRYING TO ESTABLISH SOME SORT OF RAPPORT BETWEEN US.

"Well, I certainly do appreciate your efforts. You are real, aren't you? I mean, it's not the salami or anything."

NO, IT'S NOT THE SALAMI OR ANYTHING. GOD, YOU ARE AN IDIOT, AREN'T YOU?

I shrugged. "Not really. I'm not quite used to holding conversations with typewriters, though. I usually ... well, that is to say typewriters haven't usually answered me back."

ARE YOU A WRITER?

"Well, yes. Odd you should have guessed, isn't it?"

THEN LET'S START WRITING. I'VE GOT SOME WONDERFUL IDEAS.

I smiled happily. "Well, all right. Let's. Do you want me to do the actual typing?"

OF COURSE. HOW ELSE WOULD I SHIFT?