A WORD TO THE SLANDERED ONES.
EE! girl, you’re looking sad, but it’s hardly worth your while;
You’ve heard the slander; it’s mighty bad, but hold up your head and smile.
Keep cool, lest your hair turns grey; no matter how keen your sorrow,
The man who slandered you so to-day will slander some other to-morrow.
He is only a tiny atom of dirt, like the rest of his kind of earth;
His slanderous words may rankle and hurt, but ’twas envy that gave them birth.
If you have no brother or kindred man, why expect to see fun?
Seek your retreat where no vultures meet, and lead your life like a nun.
You’re only a sex, and your presence vex the things that as man you know;
You’ve lost your good name, though you’re not to blame—a vulture would have it so.
More than two thousand miles away is the class into which you were born;
The class where a man is a man each day, and your kind is not subject of scorn.
The things called men, who bandied your name over their glasses of booze,
Who made you the butt of their poker game, have nothing themselves to lose.
They of female kind, whom they happen to meet, do not belong to your sphere;
And most of the guys that you see on the street are subject to fits that are queer.
MRS. WITH’S AFFINITY.
Man named Mike Maginity
Was Mrs. With’s affinity,
And Mrs. Brown moved out of town,
Away from that vicinity.
Then a mut named Jim O’Flarity,
In a burst of fool garality,
Told Mr. With there was no mith
In Mrs. With’s hilarity.
Mr. With was watchful then;
He polished up his gun, and when
The soul mate came he fired to maim,
Like many other foolish men.
With is in the penitentiary,
Without the least retrenchery,
And calm and still, on Monkey Hill,
Poor Mike will spend the century.
Mrs. With, in fetch array,
And many kinds of wretchery,
Was sent away one summer day—
Deported home through treachery.