Gus. Oh no! your majesty, not all of them, but Johnny and his sister Sue—
Santa. (starting towards Gussie angrily) Villain, I fain would smite thee! (stops suddenly and draws hand across forehead) No! no! what would I do? Destroy the last lingering specimen of an almost extinct race? I will spare thee, dude. Proceed with thy labors. (Santa walks up and down stage thoughtfully, while Gussie makes a great show of writing in his book. Santa stops to watch him as he writes all the way across one page and as far to one side as he can reach) What are you doing there?
Gus. Your majesty, I am writing the name of the child of a Russian exile, but I fear you will have to carry a few K’s and Z’s loose in your pocket, for of a verity the book will not contain them all. (gong heard striking off L., Santa listens, Gussie starts) Great smoke, I am discovered! There goes that chestnut bell!
Santa. It is the ninth hour; I must hasten. (to Gussie) Summon my household that I may bid them good-by. (Gussie pulls bell-rope, L., great noise of tin pans, cans, cat calls, etc., heard) There, there, that will do. We do not want to perform the miracle of raising the dead.
Fairies rush in R., Holidays L., Mrs. Claus C., followed by Kitty
Mrs. C. Wh-wh-where’s the fire!
Omnes. Yes, where’s the fire.
Santa. The fire? There is no fire my dears.
Mrs. C. (seizing Santa’s sleeve and trying to lead him off L.) Then let us get out of this house at once, hubby, there is going to be an earth-quake! Didn’t you hear that noise?
Gus. Oh! pshaw, that was only a fall in the temperature.