Enter, Footman, C.
Oh, get out av this, get out av this! You little spalpeen; can’t yez lave me alone at all, at all.
Foot. I have answered the bell sir, what is your wish?
O’Rourke. (aside) Oh, Oi see, he has come to take my order. (aloud) Oi say, send me up a ton of coal and a match; do yez moind?
Foot. We have no coal, sir.
O’Rourke. Will yez listen to that now! Yez have no coal, is it? Thin phwat do yez do for a foire, say now?
Foot. We use no fire, sir; we do not feel the cold.
O’Rourke. Yez don’t feel the could? Well thin, Oi do just that same. Yez can take moi ordher for a suit of clothes if yez plaze, sor.
(exit, Footman, C.
Well, what a quare set of crathures these are to be sure, and what a quare fix yez has got yerself into, McGinnins ould bye. Lasht night I was promenading down the streets of me native city whin suddintly biz—whiz—siz—and along came a sleigh pulled by six milch cows with forked horruns and a little man insoide all covered over with whiskirs. Thin out jumped thim little Frinch dagos, took hould of moi arrums and chucked me into that sleigh so quick Oi couldn’t draw moi breath; it’s down at the Bank yet. Oh, if Oi’d only had moi good shillelah then; Oi’d have cracked them wance or twice so Oi would. Thin, biz—whiz—siz—again, and here Oi am in a lodging house where they don’t have no foire and don’t feel the could. Oh moi, oh moi, Oi’ll have to keep circulatin’ around or Oi’ll be an oiceberg, so I will.