(pantomime of persuading his wife to remain
Gus. Well, Mr. O’Rourke, are you prepared to take the coronation oath?
O’Rourke. No sir! Oi niver shware. Oi’m not abducted to the use av profanity in any forrum sir.
Gus. Well, I suppose the taking of the oath would be a useless formality in your case; we will dispense with it. (to Footman and Coachman) Bring in the royal diadem to crown his gracious majesty and the royal sceptre, the symbol of his power.
Footman and Coachman exit C., and return with a large crown and a feather duster.
Gus. Your majesty, in investing you with these symbols of royalty I feel that I am conferring an unique distinction upon this people by giving them for a ruler a man the like of whom has never before escaped captivity.
Omnes. Hear! Hear!
Footman places crown on O’Rourke’s head, he having been led to the throne and seated thereon by Gussie, who takes feather duster from Coachman and brushes it across O’Rourke’s face. O’Rourke sneezes and fumbles in his pocket for a handkerchief. Gussie takes it from him and wipes his nose for him. Footman and Coachman retire to C.
O’Rourke. Begorra, Oi’ve a notion to swipe yez for that, so Oi have.
Gus. Pardon me, your majesty, but it is one of the privileges of my exalted office to perform all little services of that kind for our king. As I told you, a monarch is never permitted to do anything for himself. There yet remains the Coronation song.