I have since resolved that honesty is my best politics, and have confessed to Miss Mankletow in a well-expressed curt letter that I am only the possessor of a courtesy title, and, so far from rolling on the rosy bed of unlimited rhino, am out of elbows, and dependent upon parental remittances for pin-money.
For corroboration of said statements I begged to refer her politely to my benevolent friend and patron, Hon'ble Sir Cummerbund, Nevern Square, South Kensington; to whom I simultaneously wrote a private and confidential note, instructing him that if any young female person was to inquire particulars of my birth, origin, &c., he was to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, especially making it clear that I was neither a tip-top Rajah, nor a Leviathan of filthy lucre.
The rest (up to present date) is silence; but I have confident hopes that the manly, straightforward stratagem suggested by my friend, young Howard, will accomplish the job, and procure me the happy release.
I am now to pass to a different subject—to wit, a visit I paid some time since to the India Office. The why of the wherefore was that, in conversation with the Allbutt-Innetts, I had boasted freely of the credit I was in with certain high grade India Official nobs, who could refuse me nothing.
Which was hitherto the positive fact, since I had never requested any favour at their hands.
But Mrs Allbutt-Innett stated that she had heard that the reception-soirées at said India Office were extremely enjoyable and classy, and inquired whether I possessed sufficient influence to obtain for her tickets of admission to one of these select entertainments.
Naturally I had to reply that I could indubitably do the trick, and would at once proceed to the India Office and interview one of the senior clerks who regarded me as his brother.
So, after procuring a Whitaker Almanack, and hunting up the name of one of the most senior, I cabbed to Whitehall. Inside the entrance I found an attendant sitting at a table absorbed in reading, who rose and inquired my business, and upon my statement that I desired to see Mr Breakwater, Esq., on urgent business, courteously directed me up a marble staircase, at the top of which was a second attendant, also engaged in brown study—for the attendants appear to be laudably addicted to the cultivation of their minds.
He informed me that I should find Mr Breakwater's room down a certain corridor, and proceeding thither, I stopped a clerk who was hurrying along with his hands full of documents, and represented that I had come for an immediate interview with Mr Breakwater on highly important matters.
He demanded incredulously whether Mr Breakwater expected me.