Mr. F. (savagely). First turning to the right, third to the left, and then straight on till you come to it!
The B. R. I'm exsheedingly 'blished; (confidentially) fact ish, I'm shuffrin' shli' 'fection eyeshi', an' I 'shure you, can't shee anyshing dishtingly to-ni'. (He cannons against a lamp-post, to which he clings affectionately, as a Policeman emerges from the gloom.)
Policeman. Now then, what are you doing 'ere, eh?
The B. R. Itsh all ri', P'lishman, thish gerrilman—(patting lamp-post affectionately)—has kindly promished shee me home.
Mr. F. Hang it! Where's Peacock and the brougham? (He discovers a phantom vehicle by the kerb, and gets in angrily.) Now, look here, my dear, it's no earthly good—!
Occupant of the Brougham. (who is not Fanny). Coward, touch a defenceless woman if you dare! I have nothing on me of any value. Help! Police!
[Mr. F., seeing that explanation is useless, lets himself out again, precipitately, dodges the Policeman, and bolts, favoured by the fog, until all danger of pursuit is passed, at the end of which time he suddenly realizes that it is perfectly hopeless to attempt to find his own carriage again. He gropes his way home, and some hours later, after an extemporised cold supper, is rejoined by his Wife.
Mrs. F. (cheerfully). So there you are, Marmaduke! I wasn't anxious—I felt sure you'd find your way back somehow!
Mr. F. (not in the best of tempers). Find my way back! It was the only thing I could do. But where have you been all this time, Fanny?
Mrs. F. Where? Why, at the Blewitts, to be sure. You see, after you got out, we had to keep moving on, and by and by the fog got better, and we could see where we were going to,—and the Blewitts had put off dinner half an hour, so I was not so very late. Such a nice dinner! Everybody turned up except you, Marmaduke—but I told them how it was. Oh, and old Lady Horehound was there, and said a man had actually got into her brougham, and tried to wrench off one of her most valuable bracelets!—only she spoke to him so severely that he was struck with remorse, or something, and got out again! And it was by the Park, close to where you left me. Just fancy, Marmaduke, he might have got into the carriage with me, instead!