The O. G. Might I ask you to make a little less disturbance there, Sir? [Whimpers from over-tired children.
Ole Fred (roaring). "I'm jolly as a Sandboy, I'm 'appy as a king! No matter what I see or 'ear, I larf at heverything! I'm the morril of my moth-ar, (to O. G.) the himage of your Par! And heverythink I see or 'ear, it makes me larf 'Ar-har!'"
[He laughs "Ar-har," after which he gives a piercing blast upon the trumpet, with stick obbligato on the roof.
The O. G. (roused). I really must beg you not to be such an infernal nuisance! There are women and children here who——
Ole Fred. Shet up, old umbereller whiskers! (Screams of laughter from women and children, which encourage him to sing again.) "An' the roof is copper-bottomed, but the chimlies are of gold. In my double-breasted mansion in the Strand!" (To people on platform, as train stops.) Come in, oh, lor, do! "Oi-tiddly-oi-toi! hoi-toi-oy!"
[The rest take up the refrain—"'Ave a drink an' wet your eye," &c. and beat time with their boots.
The O. G. If this abominable noise goes on, I shall call the guard—disgraceful, coming in drunk like this!
The Man by the Window. 'Ere, dry up, Guv'nor—'e ain't 'ad enough to urt 'im, 'e ain't!
Chorus of Females (to O. G.). An' Bank 'Oliday, too—you orter to be ashimed o' yerself, you ought! 'E's as right as right, if you on'y let him alone!
Ole Fred (to O. G.). Ga-arn, yer pore-'arted ole choiner boy! (sings dismally), "Ow! for the vanished Spring-toime! Ow! for the dyes gorn boy! Ow! for the"—(changing the melody)—"'omeless, I wander in lonely distress. No one ter pity me—none ter caress!" (Here he sheds tears, overcome by his own pathos, but presently cheers up.) "I dornce all noight! An' I rowl 'ome toight! I'm a rare-un at a rollick, or I'm ready fur a foight." Any man 'ere wanter foight me? Don't say no, ole Frecklefoot! (To the O. G., who perspires freely.) "Oh, I am enj'yin' myself!"