"The staunch Irish," pursues the Judge, rising as Mr. Sharp sits down, "are noble fellows, and with us. To the middle class—the grocers and shopkeepers—we must, however, hold out flattering inducements; such as the reduction of taxes, the repeal of our oppressive license laws, taking the power out of the hands of our aristocracy—they are very tender here—and giving equal rights to emigrants. These points we must put as Paul did his sermons—with force and ingenuity. As for the low Irish, all we have to do is to crib them, feed and pickle them in whiskey for a week. To gain an Irishman's generosity, you cannot use a better instrument than meat, drink, and blarney. I often contemplate these fellows when I am passing sentence upon them for crime."
"True! I have the same dislike to them personally; but politically, the matter assumes quite a different form of attraction. The laboring Irish—the dull-headed—are what we have to do with. We must work them over, and over, and over, until we get them just right. Then we must turn them all into legal voting citizens—"
"That depends on how long they have been in the country," interrupts a brisk little man, rising quickly to his feet, and assuming a legal air.
"Mr. Sprig! you are entirely behind the age. It matters not how long these gentlemen from Ireland have been in the country. They take to politics like rats to good cheese. A few months' residence, and a little working over, you know, and they become trump voters. The Dutch are a different sort of animal; the fellows are thinkers," resumes the Judge.
Mr. Snivel, who has been sipping his whiskey, and listening very attentively to the Judge, rises to what he calls the most important order. He has got the paper all ready, and proposes the gentlemen he thinks best qualified for the naturalization committee. This done, Mr. Snivel draws from his pocket a copy of the forged papers, which are examined, and approved by every one present. This instrument is surmounted with the eagle and arms of the United States, and reads thus:
"STATE OF NEW YORK.
"In the Court of Common Pleas for the city and county of New York:
"I—— do declare on oath, that it is bonâ fide my intention to become a citizen of the United States, and to renounce forever all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, State or sovereignty whatever, and particularly to the Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, of whom I am a subject."
Signed this—— day of—— 184-.
James Connor, Clerk.