It was nearing the vacation, and she spoke of needing a holiday, and told him that she could not decide where to go.
“I’ve thought of the Zuurberg,” she wrote; “but your remark about walking among tombstones sticks in my memory unpleasantly. I am afraid it would be just that.”
To which he replied from De Aar:
“There is a dignity about monuments which is soothing. My former remarks were ill-considered. You might do worse than walk among memories. Try the Zuurberg again, and tell me what you feel in respect to resuscitated emotions. I would suggest that you came up here, but it is a long journey and too hot for the time of the year.”
Clearly he did not want her to join him. That thought wounded her. It had been in her mind when she told him of her indecision that he might propose meeting somewhere; that he made no such proposal seemed to prove that he did not desire to see her. She felt vexed with herself for having mentioned the subject to him. Once again the feeling of having been snubbed by this man tormented her. In the old days it had caused her indignation, but now it hurt.
The question of her holiday became a matter for debate in her mind. She no longer desired to go to the Zuurberg; but the fear that he might read in a change of plan her reason for deciding against it stiffened her resolve to do what she did not want to do. The Zuurberg had not lost its attraction for her; but it would be, she knew, haunted with memories, where the ghosts of old pleasures would meet her at every turn.
Fear of these ghosts prompted her to suggest taking the children with her, a proposal which led to a wordy discussion as to ways and means. Their father did not consider change necessary for them. Rose disputed this; she wished them to go.
“Other people’s children go away,” she insisted finally on a softer note. “If we can’t afford a holiday for ourselves we ought to let them have one. I think we might manage it, Jim, don’t you?”
This direct appeal from her, to which he was unaccustomed, took him aback. He was indeed surprised into acquiescing. In the end he spoke as if it had been his wish all along. Later, when he left the room, Rose looked across at her sister and smiled quietly.
“That was accomplished through the exercise of a little of the tact you advocate,” she said.