"She is, quoth he, bent to force you perforce,
To know that the grey mare is the better horse,"
and in many of the old plays the saying crops up:
"Ill thrives that hapless family that shows
A cock that's silent and a hen that crows;
I know not which live more unnatural lives,
Obeying husbands, or commanding wives."
"The whistling maid" and "the crowing hen" are alike held objectionable, these masculine performances being considered entirely out of place and of bad omen.
The perils of matrimony would, according to the proverb-mongers, appear to be so great that we can scarcely wonder at the counsel:
"If that a batchelor thou bee
Keepe the same style, be ruled by mee,
Lest that repentance all too late
Rewarde thee withe a broken pate.
Iff thou be yonge then marye not yett,
Iff thou be olde thou hast more wytt:
For yonge men's wyves wyll not be taught,
And olde men's wyves bee good for nought."
The home-life has goodly store of proverbial wisdom associated with it. The French say: "Chaque oiseau trouve son nid bien," and the Italians, "Ad ogni uccello il suo nido é bello," while the Englishman says, "East, west, home is best."[239:A] Monckton Milnes very truly says, "A man's best things are nearest him, lie close about his feet"; and a charming old saying is this, that "Small cheer, with great welcome, make a big feast." Proverbs, it must be confessed, are ordinarily very worldly wise, and much more frequently see the worse than the better side of things, and most of the adages about the home are very materialistic in tone; the sweet sentiment that is associated with the idea must be sought elsewhere. "The suit is best that fits me best," says an English adage, and the comfort of content is seen again in the Scottish saying—"Better a little fire that warms than mickle that burns." Socrates, passing through the markets, cried: "How much is here I do not want." "He who wants content," says an old proverb, "cannot find an easy chair."
Prudential maxims are very numerous; thus, we are warned that "Wilful waste makes woful want," that "Silks and satins put out the kitchen fire," and that "If you pay not a servant his wages he will pay himself;" while caution in another direction is advised in the saying, "The child says in the street what he heard at the fireside," and in this: "One bad example spoils many good precepts." The Germans say that "It is easier to build two hearths than to keep a fire in one," while the Portuguese advocate a judicious blending of prudence with sentiment in the adage: "Marry, marry, but what about the housekeeping?"—a by no means unimportant consideration. Love in a cottage will fare the better if the larder be not too bare.
The writer of Ecclesiasticus describes very happily the plight of the unwelcome guest—the man or woman who, as we say in English, is sitting all the while on thorns. "Better is the life of a poor man in a mean cottage than delicate fare in another man's house. For it is a miserable life to go from house to house, for where thou art a stranger thou darest not open thy mouth. Give place, thou stranger, to an honourable man; my brother cometh to be lodged, and I have need of mine house"—a sufficiently humiliating dismissal. It has, we presume, been the lot of most people to find themselves the objects of a special and not quite disinterested friendship; to feel that one is being used, and one's kindness abused. Such people in the end defeat their own object, since one soon learns to avoid the risk of an invitation for a week when we remember that the last acceptance of such an invitation meant a two months' sojourn, and the upsetting of all our plans. Proverbs relating to this state of things will be seen in "An unbidden guest knows not where to sit"; "Who depends on another's table may often dine late"; and the advice to "Scald not your lips with another's porridge"—all warnings of excellent value and weight.
Our readers will long ere this have discovered that the book of Ecclesiasticus is ever at our elbow when we would find words of wisdom, and we turn to it now afresh in our search for caution as to the tale-bearer and the breaker of confidences. "Love thy friend and be faithful unto him; but if thou bewrayest his secrets follow no more after him. For as a man hath destroyed his enemy, so hast thou lost the love of thy neighbour. As one that letteth a bird go out of his hand, so hast thou let thy neighbour go, and shall not get him again." And elsewhere, in the same treasury of wisdom, we read: "Whoso discovereth secrets loseth his credit, and shall never find friend to his need." In the Book of Proverbs[241:A] we find: "He that repeateth a matter separateth very friends"—loss of faith implying loss of friend.
