“Well—you don’t believe it, then. What’s the use of repeating it? If I could talk well, it would be different, but I’m not much of a talker, at best, and just now I can’t put two words together. But I—I mean lots of things that I can’t say, and perhaps wouldn’t say, you know. At least, not just now.”
He turned from her and began to walk up and down across the narrow terrace, towards her and away from her, his hands in his pockets, and his head a little bent. She watched him in silence for some time. Perhaps if she had hated him as much as she said that she did, she would have left him then and gone into the house. Something, good or evil, tempted her to speak.
“What do you mean, that you wouldn’t say now?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he answered gruffly, still walking up and down, ten steps each way. “Don’t ask me—I told you one thing. I shall follow you wherever you go.”
“And then?” asked Clare, still prompted by some genius, good or bad.
“And then?” Brook stopped and stared at her rather wildly. “And then? If I can’t get you in any other way—well, I’ll take you, that’s all! It’s not a very pretty thing to say, is it?”
“It doesn’t sound a very probable thing to do, either,” answered Clare. “I’m afraid you are out of your mind, Mr. Johnstone.”
“You’ve driven most things out of it since I loved you,” answered Brook, beginning to walk again. “You’ve made me say things that I shouldn’t have dreamed of saying to any woman, much less to you. And you’ve made me think of doing things that looked perfectly mad a week ago.” He stopped before her. “Can’t you see? Can’t you understand? Can’t you feel how I love you?”
“Don’t—please don’t!” she said, beginning to be frightened at his manner again.
“Don’t what? Don’t love you? Don’t live, then—don’t exist—don’t anything! What would it all matter, if I didn’t love you? Meanwhile, I do, and by the—no! What’s the use of talking? You might laugh. You’d make a fool of me, if you hadn’t killed the fool out of me with too much earnest—and what’s left can’t talk, though it can do something better worth while than a lot of talking.”