She spoke sadly now.
“And we shall be, dear, I hope,” answered Mrs. Lauderdale.
“I don’t know—perhaps. I don’t believe we shall ever be just as we used to be. You’re not the same—nor am I, I suppose.”
“Oh, yes we are—in our hearts. But, Katharine, darling—what you said just now—if you knew how it hurts me—”
“It’s not your fault, mother. If anybody’s to blame, it’s papa, and I think he is. Oh, no! You’re different. After all, we’re only a pair of women, you and I. We can quarrel and make up, and nobody will be hurt in the end. We’re not each other’s ideals—not that papa was mine, or anything like it. But you naturally believe in a thing more when a strong man stands up and asserts it and fights for it, than if it turns out that he only says that he believes in it, out of prejudice and family tradition and a sort of impression that after all he may go to the wrong place if he doesn’t. He’s always talking about setting an example—it seems to me that the example lies in the effect of the thing upon the person one’s to imitate. If this is the effect of religion on him, I don’t want it. I’d rather talk to Teddy Van De Water, who chatters about Darwin and Spencer without knowing anything particular about them, and sticks his glass in his eye and makes bad jokes about the future state, but who’d burn his hand to the wrist rather than do anything he thought mean. Men have done that sort of thing before now—they’re not the men who talk about God over the soup, and try to sell their daughters at dessert!”
“Katharine—” Mrs. Lauderdale could not find words.
“I know—but papa’s not here—and then, I don’t mean to talk about it any longer. You’ve come up from him, I suppose, mother, to say that he doesn’t want to see me. Very well. I don’t want to see him. But how long is this state of things to last? I won’t apologize, and I suppose he won’t give in. It may go on for months, then. Supposing I refuse to be imprisoned in this way, is he going to lock me in and take the key with him? What’s he going to do? I want to know what to expect.”
“My dear, I don’t know—he only said that. Just what I told you.”
“Because if it’s going to be a siege, I’ll go away,” said Katharine, calmly.
“I proposed that you should go to Washington and spend a fortnight with Charlotte. He wouldn’t hear of it.”