An Irish parson of the old school, in whom a perception of the ridiculous was developed with a Rabelaisian breadth of appreciation, was asked by a clodhopper to explain the meaning of a miracle. "Walk on a few paces before me," said his reverence, which having done the peasant was surprised to feel in the rear a kick, administered with decided energy. "What did you do that for?" demanded the young man angrily. "Simply to illustrate my meaning," replied the cleric blandly; "if you had not felt it, it would have been a miracle."
[KEEPING TIME]
A gentleman at a musical party asked a friend, in a whisper, how he should stir the fire without interrupting the music. "Between the bars," replied the friend.
[QUESTION AND ANSWER]
A Quaker was examined before the Board of Excise, respecting certain duties; the commissioners thinking themselves disrespectfully treated by his theeing and thouing, one of them with a stern countenance asked him--"Pray, sir, do you know what we sit here for?"--"Yea," replied Nathan, "I do; some of thee for a thousand, and others for seventeen hundred and fifty pounds a year."
[MOTHER'S JAM POTS]
"Willy, why were you not at school yesterday?" asked the teacher.
"Please, mum," answered the absentee, "Muvver made marmalade yesterday and she sent me to the cemetery."
"What on earth for?"
"To collect some jam pots, mum."