A humorist asked a medical man, with an air of great seriousness, "Why does hanging kill a man?" "Because," began, the explanation, "inspiration is checked, circulation is stopped, and blood suffuses and congests the brain----" "Bosh!" interrupted the wag, "it is because the rope is not long enough to let his feet touch the ground."
[MORAL QUALIFICATIONS]
A very strong-minded Scotchwoman had been asking the character of a cook she was about to engage. The lady whom the servant was leaving naturally entered a little upon her moral qualifications, and described her as a very decent woman. To which the first-named replied, "Oh, d--n her decency, can she make good porridge?"
[MEASURING HIS DISTANCE]
A brow-beating counsel asked a witness how far he had been from a certain place. "Just four yards, two feet, and six inches," was the reply. "How came you to be so exact, my friend?" "Because I expected some fool or other would ask me, and so I measured it."
[AGRICULTURAL EXPERIENCES]
A Suffolk clergyman asked a schoolboy what was meant in the Catechism by succouring his father and mother. "Giving on 'em milk," was the prompt reply.
[THE LATIN FOR COLD]
A schoolmaster asked one of his scholars, in the winter time, what was the Latin for cold. "Oh! sir," answered the lad, "I forget at this moment, although I have it at my fingers' ends."