Sir G. Rose, the great punster, on observing someone imitating his gait, said, "You have the stalk without the rose."
[SOMETHING LIKE AN INSULT]
The late Judge C---- one day had occasion to examine a witness who stuttered very much in delivering his testimony. "I believe," said his Lordship, "you are a very great rogue." "Not so great a rogue as you, my lord, t-t-t-takes me to be."
[THE UNWELCOME GUEST]
A man who was fond of visiting his friends and outstaying his welcome had been cordially received by a Quaker who treated him with attention and politeness for some days. At last his host said, "My friend, I am afraid thee wilt never visit me again." "Oh, yes, I shall," he replied. "I have enjoyed my visit very much; I will certainly come again." "Nay," said the Quaker, "I think thee wilt not visit me again." "What makes you think I shall not come again?" asked the visitor. "If thee does never leave," said the Quaker, "how canst thee come again?"
[A LOST BALANCE]
A celebrated wit coming from a bank which had been obliged to close its doors, slipped down the steps into the arms of a friend.
"Why, what's the matter?" said the latter.
"Oh," was the quick reply, "I've only lost my balance."