“The letter, however, was wholly unintelligible to me,
and the
perusal of it only added to my perplexity.
“A tame suspense I was not born to endure, and I determined
to clear
my doubts at all hazards and events.
“I answered it, therefore, in Orville’s name.
“The views which I am now going to acknowledge, must,
infallibly,
incur your displeasure;-yet I scorn all palliation.
“Briefly, then, I concealed your letter to prevent a
discovery of
your capacity; and I wrote you an answer, which I hoped would
prevent your wishing for any other.
“I am well aware of every thing which can be said upon
this subject.
Lord Orville will, possibly, think himself ill-used; but I am
extremely indifferent as to his opinion; nor do I now write
by way of offering any apology to him, but merely to make
known to yourself the reasons by which I have been governed.
“I intend to set off next week for the Continent. Should his
Lordship have any commands for me in the mean time, I shall
be glad to receive them. I say not this by way of defiance,-I
should blush to be suspected of so doing through an indirect
channel; but simply that, if you show him this letter, he
may know I dare defend, as well as excuse, my conduct.
“CLEMENT WILLOUGHBY.”
What a strange letter! how proud and how piqued does its writer
appear! To
what alternate meanness and rashness do the passions lead, when reason
and self-denial do not oppose them! Sir Clement is conscious he has
acted dishonourably; yet the same unbridled vehemence, which urged
him to gratify a blameable curiosity, will sooner prompt him to risk
his life, than, confess his misconduct. The rudeness of his manner of
writing to me, springs, from the same cause: the proof which he has
received of my indifference to him, has stung him to the soul, and he
has neither the delicacy nor forbearance to disguise his displeasure.
I determined not to show this letter to Lord Orville, and thought
it most
prudent to let Sir Clement know I should not. I therefore wrote the
following note:
“To Sir Clement Willoughby.