“Well, I don’t see that!” cried Colonel Manners,—“for if I was you, and not in my turn for waiting, I should go about just as I liked;—but now, as for me, as it happens to be my own turn, Why I think it right to be civil to the king.”
We all looked round;—but Colonel Goldsworthy broke forth aloud— “Civil, quotha?” cried he; “Ha! ha! civil, forsooth!—You’re mighty condescending!—the first equerry I ever heard talk of his civility to the king!—‘Duty,’ and ‘respect,’ and ‘humble reverence,’—those are words we are used to,—but here come you with Your civility!——Commend me to such affability!”
You see he is not spared; but Colonel Goldsworthy is the wag professed of their community, and privileged to say what he pleases. The other, with the most perfect good-humour, accepted the joke, without dreaming of taking offence at the sarcasm.
Another evening the king sent for Colonel Ramsden to play at backgammon.
“Happy, happy man!” exclaimed Colonel Goldsworthy, exultingly; but scarce had he uttered the words ere he was summoned to follow himself. “What! already!” cried he,—“without even my tea! Why this is worse and worse!—no peace in Israel!—only one half hour allowed for comfort, and now that’s swallowed! Well, I must go;—make my complaints aside, and my bows and smiles in full face!”
Off he went, but presently, in a great rage, came back, and, while he drank a hot dish of tea which I instantly presented him, kept railing at his stars for ever bringing him under a royal roof. “If it had not been for a puppy,” cried he, “I had never got off even to scald my throat in this manner But they’ve just got a dear little new ugly dog: so one puppy gave Way to t’other, and I just left them to kiss and hug it, while I stole off to drink this tea! But this is too much!—no peace for a moment!—no peace in Israel!”
When this was passed, Colonel Wellbred renewed some of the conversation of the preceding day with me; and, just as he named Dr. Herschel Colonel Manners broke forth with his dissenting opinions. “I don’t give up to Dr. Herschel at all,” cried he; “he is all system; and so they are all: and if they can but make out their systems, they don’t care a pin for anything else. As to Herschel, I liked him well enough till he came to his volcanoes in the moon, and then I gave him up, I saw he was just like the rest. How should he know anything Of the matter? There’s no such thing as pretending to measure, at such a distance as that?" Colonel Wellbred, to whom I looked for an answer, instead of making any, waited in quiet silence till he had exhausted all he had to say upon the subject, and then, turning to me, made some inquiry about the Terrace, and went on to other general matters. But, some time after, when all were engaged, and this topic seemed quite passed, he calmly began, in general terms, to lament that the wisest and best of people were always so little honoured or understood in their own time, and added that he had no doubt but Sir Isaac Newton had been as much scoffed and laughed at formerly as Herschel was now; but concluded, in return, Herschel, hereafter, would be as highly reverenced as Sir Isaac was at present....
We had then some discourse upon dress and fashions. Virtuosos being next named, Colonel Manners inveighed against them quite violently, protesting they all wanted common honour and honesty; and to complete the happy subject, he instanced, in particular, Sir William Hamilton, who, he declared, had absolutely robbed both the king and state of Naples!
After this, somebody related that, upon the heat in the air being mentioned to Dr. Heberden, he had answered that he supposed it proceeded from the last eruption in the volcano in the moon: “Ay,” cried Colonel Manners, “I suppose he knows as much of the matter as the rest of them: if you put a candle at the end of a telescope, and let him look at it, he’ll say, what an eruption there is in the moon! I mean if Dr. Herschel would do it to him; I don’t say he would think so from such a person as me.”
“But Mr. Bryant himself has seen this volcano from the telescope.”