“Women have invented nothing outside of millinery since the world began.”—Ex.
How can they? when they are so hooped in?
“Women have written clever letters, tolerable novels, and intolerable epics.”—Ex.
Indeed! It strikes me, though, that we have furnished you the material for yours; just tell me what your “letters,” your “novels,” your “epics,” would have amounted to, without the inspiring theme—woman. When the world furnishes us heroes, perhaps we shall write splendid novels, and splendid epics. Pharaoh once required bricks to be made “without straw.”
“Letters?” No man, since the world began, could pen a letter equal to a woman. Look at the abortions dignified by that name in men-novels; stiltified—unnatural—stiff—pedantic, or else coarse. You can no more do it than an elephant can waltz. The veriest school girl can surpass you at it. I have often heard men confess it (when off their guard). One thing at least we know enough to do, viz.: when we wish to make one of your sex our eternal and unchangeable friend we always allow him to beat us in an argument.
FAIR PLAY.
OR, BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY.
“It is too bad,” said a lady to me, not long since, “it is too bad; I am almost tired to death.” She had been to York on a shopping expedition; and, having finished her purchases, and returned, laden with them to the ferry, found two thirds of the seats in the ladies’ cabin of the ferry-boat occupied by men, while she and several other ladies were compelled to stand till the boat reached the pier. “It is too bad,” she repeated; “they have no right to occupy the ladies’ cabin, when ladies are standing. Give them a dig, Fanny, won’t you?”
“Of course I will,” said I; “the case, to my mind, is clearly against the coat-tails; more especially, as, when the boat touches the pier, they rush past the ladies, and by right of their pantaloons leap over the chain (which femininity must wait to see unhooked), in order to monopolize all the seats in the street cars, to the exclusion of the aforesaid dismayed and weary ladies. Most certainly I will give them a dig, my dear; it is an exhibition of ‘grab’ which is quite disgusting.”