"I found a sort of quiet happiness in thus attempting to perform my duty, for I really loved the children, who were quite as good as they could be, after having passed through so many different hands. We had been some time married when all the little ones were seized with scarlatina, and after a painful prostration by it, and a partial convalescence, the doctor advised a change of air, and we accordingly commenced all needful preparations for the journey.
"Up to this time I had not been into public with Stahle; even in my first married life I had never done this, (why should I have done so when home was Paradise?) and now—what availed change of place, when, go where I might, the arrow was still quivering in my heart?
"Occasionally we had callers, business friends of Stahle's, to whom he requested me to be, and to whom I was, punctiliously civil.
"But we were now to move out of this orbit into a wider one; we were to meet more than one class of persons, for the facilities of travel have made north and south, east and west, mere nominal terms.
"One day, on our journey, I took my seat at a public dinner-table with Stahle. Some gentlemen were already seated, and engaged in conversation. As we entered, one of them glancing at us, said to his companion, 'Look there, Howard, how in the name of —— did such a fellow,' nodding at Stahle, 'get such a fine-looking woman as that for a wife?'
"Stahle overheard it; his lips were livid with suppressed rage, while in spite of all my efforts to keep the tell-tale blood from my face, it was quite crimsoned. From that moment he became changed; for the first time the disparity between us seemed to dawn upon him. He thought every body else was looking at us through the same pair of spectacles. He grew moody, silent, and abstracted; was ever on the alert when we were in company, overhearing every word, watching every look, noticing every motion, magnifying every thing into an affront to him, or an overture to me.
"I have not described Stahle's physique to you. He was under-sized, with a pale complexion, and light brown beard. He wore his hair long, and parted on the left temple, its sleek, shining look, giving him a meek appearance; his lips were thin, and, in a woman, would have been called shrewish; this tell-tale feature he dexterously concealed with his beard. I have never seen such a mouth since, that I have not shuddered; his eyes were a pale gray, and were always averted in talking, as if he feared his secret thoughts might shine through them. He appeared to great disadvantage in company, both from his inferior personal appearance and his total inability to sustain a conversation on any subject. Of this he seemed to be unaware until we appeared in company together. I soon found that the monosyllabic system to which he was necessarily confined, it would be necessary for me also to adopt, when addressed. This, apart from the tyranny which prompted it, was no trial to me, for I never liked going into company, and never was at a party which paid me for the bore of dressing.
"Of course I saw all these things as though I saw them not. I was perfectly aware of my position, and I resolved, under all circumstances, to control myself, and never descend, whatever might transpire, to a war of words. I appeared in public as seldom as possible, lest Stahle should find cause of offense. I was as scrupulously attentive to him and his interests as if I did not know that my best endeavors would now be misconstrued. I felt no faltering in my desire to make his innocent children happy and comfortable. I spoke to no one of my discomfort. I said to myself, I have made a great mistake, and must bear the consequences with what fortitude I may.
"I little knew the deadly malignity of Stahle's disposition. I little knew the penalty I was to pay for the difference which nature and education had made between us.
"One day Stahle came home looking unusually moody and sullen. He found his dinner nicely prepared, and the children neatly washed and dressed. The parlor was tidy, I was courteous; there was nothing to find fault with, nothing to irritate, not the most slender foundation for a quarrel.