Be this as it may, the Duhun went on all the same; the bride, decked in her splendid array, arrived at the bridegroom’s house, and was met, according to custom, by the bridegroom, who, under the direction of the Koulavouz, was waiting to conduct her to her apartment. The emotion of the moment was too much for his vacillating mind. He fixed his gaze for a moment upon his bride with a vacant stare; her face was unknown to him. The tinsel, the bridal veil, the crowd of hanoums surrounding her, failed to impress him with the solemnity of the event his mind no longer comprehended.
In vain the shrill voice of the Koulavouz strove to make him understand her repeated suggestion that he should conduct his bride upstairs. Her words, confusedly caught, and mingled with some flickering notion of what he ought to do, at length urged him to action. He seized the Koulavouz, a frightful old witch, passed her arm through his, and with the determination and obstinacy of the madman led her upstairs and placed her in the bridal bower. A miserable scene of confusion ensued. The poor bride, faint and sick at heart, re-entered her coach and hurried back to the paternal roof, while the hanoums made a rush towards their yashmaks and feridjés, dismayed at the misfortune and alarmed by the screams of the old Koulavouz, who was making frantic efforts to release herself from the tight embrace of the maniac. Help from the Selamlik soon arrived, and the madman was secured.
Seven years have elapsed, the unhappy bride is still pining over her misfortunes and the loss of the liberty which all efforts have thus far proved unable to restore to her.
A Turkish husband has the power of divorcing his wife and taking her back twice; but should he send her away for the third time, she must be married to another man before she can again return to her first husband. This strange and disgusting law is meant as a check upon people disposed to abuse too often the privilege of divorce. The person asked to fulfil this strange position of intermediary husband must be advanced in years, generally belongs to the poorer class, and receives a sum of money for his services. The conditions are that he should enter the abode of the lady for one night only, with every right over her of a legal husband, and quit it the next morning, telling her, “Thy liberty is in thy hands, thou art no longer my wife.” Cases have been known when the old gentleman, finding his position pleasant, has refused to give the lady up, and if this should happen the first husband is wholly without remedy, and must forego his desire of reunion with his former wife.
An incident of the kind happened at Adrianople, affording much merriment to my Turkish friends. The couple concerned were very fond of each other, and lived happily together except at times, when the husband, under the influence of raki, would become quarrelsome. The wife, a fine spirited woman, would retort, and violent disputes followed, ending in alternate divorce and reconciliation. This happening once too often, the husband, unable to repossess himself of his spouse, had recourse to an old effendi who had seen better days, and promised £20 for his services. The effendi, according to custom, went to the bath, dressed himself in a new suit of clothes, and being presented at the appointed time, the nekyah ceremony was gone through. The old gentleman walked into the harem, seated himself upon the lady’s sofa, and began to enjoy, through the fumes of his nargilé, the sweet vision of his unlooked-for happiness; while the lady, whose dreams did not exactly harmonize with his, after offering the acquaintance-cup of coffee, generally shared by the wife on such an occasion, preferred standing at a respectful distance. The old effendi, however, would not be balked in the prospect he had formed for the re-enjoyment of his former happier days. Why should he not prolong the tenure of the rights thus unexpectedly devolving upon him? Nothing hindered but his pledged word to renounce them on the following morning. His conscience easily reconciled to this breach of faith, he decided upon remaining master of the situation, leaving the poor husband to lament the loss of his wife and his £20, and quite regardless of the useless burden he would become to the doubly-injured lady. Such events, however, are not of frequent occurrence.
It is customary for the bridegroom to furnish the wedding-dress and sundry other accessories, as well as to promise the nekyah money settled upon the wife in case of divorce. These, including the Kaftan (outer wedding dress) are sent with great pomp eight days before the Duhun. The Hodja, priest of the parish in which the parents of the girl reside, is requested to give a declaration that the young lady is free to contract matrimony. This, taken to the Kadi, obtains the marriage license, for which a small fee is paid. A piece of red silk and some sugar-plums are taken by the bridegroom’s mother to the house of the bride. The red silk, which later on is made into an under-garment, is spread on this occasion on the floor; upon it the young lady steps to kiss the hand of her future mother-in-law and receive the gift with her blessing.
Half of one of these sugar-plums, bitten in two by her pearly teeth, is taken to the bridegroom as the first love token; literal sweetness in this case making up for any fault in the sentiment. These preliminaries are sealed by the formality performed by the Imam in the presence of witnesses who are called to the door of the Haremlik, behind which the maiden and her friends stand. The Imam asks the bride if she consents to accept the youth proposed (giving his name) for her husband. The question is repeated three times, the bride answering each time in the affirmative. The Hodja has to declare the amount of the nekyah money promised, and calls three times upon the bystanders to bear witness before God to the contract; a short prayer follows, and the ceremony is concluded. The felicitations are conveyed in the poetical expression of “May Allah grant harmony between their two stars!” The contract, religious as well as civil, is made verbally, and though no other ceremony of importance follows it, the bride and bridegroom do not see each other till the Duhun, or wedding festivities, have been held. The length of this period may be from a few weeks to a few years, and is a blank which potential love is at liberty to fill with fantastic pictures of coming happiness. No sweet messages, letters, or communications of any kind are allowed during the interval to pave the way towards the future binding together of two beings whose common lot is cast, without regard to personal sympathy, into the vague abyss of destiny. Kismet, the supreme ruler of all Turkish events, is left to decide the degree of misery or indifference that marriage contracted under such unfavorable circumstances may bring, instead of the looked-for happiness.
Romance, ending in marriage, however, is not unknown between Turkish youths and maidens, and the parents seldom refuse their consent in such cases. Young love, even Turkish love, is sometimes strong enough to break through the barriers of harem restraint and reach its object in spite of every obstacle with which the organization of centuries of jealous guardianship has surrounded Turkish women.
At Adrianople, a young beauty of sixteen suddenly began to pine and sicken. The color faded from her cheeks, she became thoughtful, sad, and listless; a low fever set in, greatly alarming the anxious parents, who were at a loss to divine the cause. As usual, all the learned Hodjas were resorted to, but their Muskas, prayers, and blessings failed to revive the sinking health and spirits of the maiden. One day I happened to visit this family; the girl was seated at the corner window, overlooking the street, dreamily gazing out from behind the lattice. Her little brother was playing by her side, while the mother was describing to me the symptoms of her daughter’s indisposition. The little fellow suddenly jumped up, saying, “Ishdé Ali Bey. I want to go to him!” His sister started up, her cheeks suffused with blushes, and left the room in confusion. Both the mother and I noticed the incident, though no remark was made about it at the time by either of us; but I was at no loss then to understand the reason of the girl’s failing health and depression of spirits. A short time after I heard of her engagement to this young man, whom it appears she had loved as a child. This love later on becoming a hidden passion was shared by the youth and stealthily interpreted between them by the language of flowers, fruits, and scents, the mediums generally resorted to by Turks in such cases. The lover, handsome and intelligent, was a mere Kyatib, who deemed his limited means an obstacle to his aspiring to the hand of one of the wealthiest young hanoums of the town. I was present at the marriage festivities of this lovely creature, and saw her a year later a blooming wife and mother.
The trousseau comprises bedding, sometimes to the amount of fifty sets, each composed of two mattresses, two quilted coverlets, and three cotton bolsters; kitchen utensils, all of copper, very numerous, consisting of two or three immense cauldrons, several large jugs and pans, and a great number of dinner-trays, with the services belonging to them; among the wealthy one of these would be of silver. It also comprises furniture for two rooms of some rich material embroidered with gold, a handsome mangal (brazier), curtains, and a few carpets and rugs, besides the house linen. The wardrobe contains several expensive fur jackets, a shawl or two, some feridjés, and a number of suits of apparel, consisting of under-gowns and jackets. The gelinlik, or wedding-dress, ranging in value from sixty to hundreds of pounds, is embroidered with gold and pearls. The rest are less rich in material, and are of silk and woollen stuffs, and less expensive materials down to print gedjliks. The other articles are chemises, a few pairs of stockings, boots, and slippers, some dozens of worked handkerchiefs, head-ties, and yashmaks, together with a number of European odds and ends, such as petticoats, gloves, and parasols.