CHAPTER XXII.
RETROSPECTION—A BORDER TRADING POST—GARRISON HOSPITALITY—A VISIT FROM THE COMMANDANT OF FORT RICE—ARRIVAL OF MY HUSBAND—AFFECTING SCENE.
At first, and some time afterward, at intervals, the effects of my life among the savages preyed upon my mind so as to injure its quiet harmony. I was ill at ease among my new friends, and they told me that my eyes wore a strangely wild expression, like those of a person constantly in dread of some unknown alarm.
Once more free and safe among civilized people, I looked back on the horrible past with feelings that defy description.
The thought of leaving this mortal tenement on the desert plain for the wolves to devour, and the bones to bleach under the summer sun and winter frosts, had been painful indeed. Now, I knew that if the wearied spirit should leave its earthly home, the body would be cared for by kind Christian friends, and tenderly laid beneath the grass and flowers, and my heart rejoiced therein.
Hunger and thirst, long days of privation and suffering, had been mine. No friendly voices cheered me on; all was silence and despair. But now the scene had changed, and the all-wise Being, who is cognizant of every thought, knew the joy and gratitude of my soul.
True, during the last few weeks of my captivity, the Indians had done all in their power for me, all their circumstances and condition would allow, and the women were very kind, but “their people were not my people,” and I was detained a captive, far from home, and friends, and civilization.
With Alexander Selkirk I could say, “Better dwell in the midst of alarms, than reign in this horrible place.”
Being young, and possessed of great cheerfulness and elasticity of temper, I was enabled to bear trials which seemed almost impossible for human nature to endure and live.