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I was so much overset by them, that with the strange faculty I have of pouring one feeling into another, I cried so bitterly in the parting scene with Clifford, that I could scarcely utter the words of my part.
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Saturday, 24th.
Our riding expedition having been put off, the day was beautifully bright and clear. Sat stitching and pottering an infinity. My feet got so perished that I didn't know what to do. Wrote journal; practised for an hour; Mr. —— called. When he was gone, went out with my father. Called at ——'s to order home my gown for dinner-time. Left a card at Mrs. ——'s, and then marched down to the tailor's to upbraid him about my waistcoat, which is infamously ill made.[62] Coming home, met that very odious Mr. ——, who is the perfection of genteel vulgarity. He walked home with us. Dressed for dinner. Mme. —— did not send my gown home in time: abominable sempstress! so put on my blue, and looked rather dowdy. Found sundry that we knew: Colonel ——; Mr. ——; my favourite aversion, Mr. ——; that signal fool, Mr. ——; Miss ——, who looked like a hair-dresser's wax block; a Miss ——, with lovely feet, and a terrified Bacchante-looking head, cum multis aliis. I sat by one Mr. ——, who talked without end, and cleverly enough: indeed, it was rather clever to talk so wonderfully fast and much. After dinner, the party became much larger: Dr. ——, Mr. ——, the —— (all but ——), that entire self-satisfaction, Mr. ——, Mr. ——, and the knight of the rueful countenance; three singing men, ycleped ——; and a shoal besides. One of the Mr. —— and Miss —— sang the duet in the Didone, that dear —— and —— used to sing so lovelily. They both had good voices, but the style is but so-soish. Presently, three men sang that sea glee that I remember Lord and Lady —— teaching me at ——. What a strange faculty of our nature this is, this leading back of our minds to the past, through the agency of our senses, acted upon by present influences, the renewing life, the magical summoning up of dead time from its grave, with the very place and circumstance it wore. Wondrous riddle! what—what are we, that are so curiously made? By and by dancing was proposed, and I was much entreated and implored to change my determination about waltzing; but I was inexorable, and waltzed only with the ladies, who one and all dance extremely well. Mrs. —— looked lovely to-night. Dr. —— says very true, she has a thorough-bred look, which reminds me a little of our noble English ladies. He says she is like Lady ——. I think she is prettier: she certainly looks like a gem. We danced a Kentucky reel, and sundry quadrilles. That long ens, Mr. ——, was tipsy, and went slithering about in a way to kill one; and Mr. —— was sitting slyly in the corner, pretending to talk to D——, but in fact dying with laughter at poor ——, who meandered about the room, to the infinite dismay and confusion of the whole dance. Vain were the vigorous exertions of his partner, who pulled him this way and that, and pushed him hither and thither, to all which the unresisting creature submitted incorrigibly. Remained dancing till half-past twelve, in fact Sunday morning, and then came home. They made me sing, which I did abominably. On my return home, found my black satin gown, every atom of which will have to be unpicked—pleasant! the tradespeople here are really terrible; they can do nothing, and will take no pains to do any thing: 'tis a handsome gown spoilt.[63]
Sunday, 25th.
My dear father's birth-day! also, by the by, a grand occasion here—the anniversary of the evacuation of the island by the British troops, which circumstance the worthy burghers have celebrated ever since with due devotion and thankfulness. Went to church: Dr. —— did not preach, which was a disappointment to me. The music was exquisite; and there was a beautiful graceful willow branch, with its long delicate fibres and golden leaves, waving against the blue sky and the church window, that seemed to me like a magical branch in a fairy tale. It struck me as strange to-day, as I looked from the crowded gloomy church to the bright unbounded sky, to think that we call the one the house of God; to be sure, we have other authority for calling the blue heavens his throne; and oh, how glorious they did look! The day was bright, but bitter cold. Coming out of church, saw all our last night's party. On my return home found a perfect levee; Dr. ——, Mr. ——, Mr. ——, Mr. ——, Mr. ——, a whole regiment. When they were all gone, wrote journal: having finished that and my lunch, set out with my father to fetch a walk; which we did to the tune of near six miles, through all the outskirts of the town, an exceedingly low-life ramble indeed—during which we came across a man who was preaching in the street. He had not a very large assembly round him, and we stood in the crowd to hear him. By his own account, he had been imprisoned before for a similar proceeding; and he was denouncing, most vehemently, signal judgments on the blind and wicked corporation who had so stopped the work of righteousness. The man's face was a very fine one, remarkably intelligent and handsome: he was cleanly and well dressed, and had altogether a respectable appearance. When we came home, it was past four. Dressed for dinner. My father dined with Mr. ——; so D—— and I had a tête-à-tête dinner. After which, played on the piano for some time; after which, began letter to H——; after which, wrote journal.
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