MARRIAGE.
Marriage among the Bagobo takes place much later than is common among most Philippine tribes, the couple often being eighteen or twenty years of age. As a rule the parents of the boy select the girl and negotiate the match. Going to the house of the girl they casually broach the subject and if her parents are favorable, a day is set to discuss the details. This meeting is attended by the friends and relatives of both families, and two head-men or datu must also be present to represent the contracting parties. The price the girl should bring varies according to the wealth of the interested parties and the accomplishments of the bride. Whatever the sum paid, the father of the girl must make a return present equal to one-half the value of the marriage gift "so that he does not sell his daughter like a slave." Usually marriage does not take place until a year or more after this settlement, and during the interval the boy must serve his father-in-law to be. When the time for the final ceremony arrives the relatives and friends assemble and for two or three days they feast and make merry. A mabalian spreads a mat on the floor, places on it many valuable articles and then offers all to the spirits, in order that they may be pleased to give the couple a long and prosperous life together. Finally, she puts a dish of rice on the mat and, after offering it to the spirits, places it between the boy and the girl as they sit on the floor. The girl takes a handful of the rice and feeds it to the boy who, in turn, feeds her, and the ceremony is complete. The couple may then go to their new home, but for several years the girl's family will exact a certain amount of service from the groom.
A slight variation of the usual order occurred recently at the marriage of one of Datu Tongkaling's sons. At that time all the details were arranged by the datu, who, accompanied by his son and a number of relatives, went to the girl's house and proposed the union. After the girl had brought wine, betel nut, and food, and had placed them before the visitors, she was directed by her mother to make a carrying bag for her lover. Had she objected to the union and refused to make this gift, her decision would probably have been accepted as final and all negotiations abandoned. However, it is not customary for the young people to refuse to carry out the wishes of their elders. As the girl offered no objections, the party fell to discussing the price the groom should pay, and finally, after several hours of bargaining, decided that he should furnish her father with one agong,[37] one horse, and a double betel box.[38] Five days later, when he paid this sum, he received a return gift of one agong and ten skirts from the bride's mother. About one-half the value of the groom's gift was distributed among the girl's relatives, who were at the same time admonished that, in case a separation should occur, they would be expected to return an equal amount. In the presence of about a hundred friends, the pair drank wine from the same dish, then submitted to having a little hair cut from their heads, and were pronounced man and wife. Before they retired for the night the mabalian combed their hair, then, having directed the groom to precede his bride to their sleeping place, she secured a child and placed it on the mat between the pair. This, she explained, was an old custom, and was done so that the girl might not be ashamed, for she was not the first to sleep there. Having finished this duty, she returned to the center of the room and placed a number of plates and a knife on the tambara, where they were allowed to remain for four days as offerings to the anito, Manama, Toglái and the tigyama.[39] At the end of that period the plates were attached to the outside walls of the house, and the knife returned to its former owner. This completed the duties of the mabalian who returned home carrying an agong, the payment for her services.
[37] Large copper gong.
[38] Much more is often given. One girl in Cibolan brought six horses, five agongs, and several spears and knives.
[39] See p. 107. [Transcriber's note: 5 pages after this.]
A man may have as many wives as he desires and can afford, but he may not take a second mate until a child has been born to the first union, or the wife has been proved beyond doubt to be barren. The groom renders no services to the father of the second wife, but instead of this pays a double price for the girl, for he not only pays her parents but is forced also to give a like sum to his first wife, who, in turn, presents it to her father. Should a third wife be added to the family a sum equal to her cost is divided among the earlier wives. The first wife is generally the lady of the house and does not particularly object to having other girls added to the family, provided they are willing to obey her. Datu Tongkaling has had four wives, three of whom are still living.
If a couple cannot agree, a separation can be arranged by applying to the local head-man, who, after listening to their troubles, decides which one is at fault, and whether or no the marriage gifts must be returned. When a couple parts, plates, bowls, and jars are sometimes broken as a sign that they will never live together again and the spirits are thus called to witness. A divorced woman may remarry, but unless the sum originally paid for her has been returned, the new groom must pay such an amount to the first husband.
SICKNESS AND DEATH.
In case of illness a mabalian administers some simple remedy without any call on the spirits. If, however, the sickness does not yield readily to this treatment, it is evident that the trouble is caused by some spirit who can only be appeased by a gift, Betel nuts, leaves, food, clothing, and some article in daily use by the patient are placed in a dish of palm bark and on top of all is laid a roughly carved figure of a man. This offering is passed over the body of the patient while the mabalian addresses the spirits as follows. "Now, you can have the man on this dish, for we have changed him for the sick man. Pardon anything this man may have done, and let him be well again." Immediately after this the dish is carried away and hidden so that the sick person may never see it again, for should he do so the illness would return.