"Oh, what a pun!" observed Ronald in disgust; "as if those in the burlesque weren't bad enough."
"Well, they couldn't be much worse," said Sir Mark, putting up his opera glass.
The burlesque of "Artemis" was in the usual style; the author had taken the beautiful Greek myth of Diana and Endymion, and vulgarised it hopelessly. In it, Artemis, the virgin huntress, was represented as an old maid in love with Endymion, who, of course, was in love with some one else, being, in his case, another man's wife, and the other man, being an apothecary, gives Endymion a powder, which sends him to sleep. In fact, the whole burlesque was written to show that women hunt after men, and that the most amusing thing in life is to get as near divorce as possible, without the actual law business taking place. Artemis was acted by a celebrated lion comique, who sang local songs about the Government and the Royal Family, and Endymion was given by a little girl with yellow hair and saucy, blue eyes, who sang and danced like a fairy. Indeed, when she sang her great song, "Slightly on the Mash," Pat fell head over ears in love with her, and felt inclined to join in the chorus with these beautiful words:--
Slightly on the mash, boys,
Don't I do it flash, boys?
Altho' my income's very small,--
In fact, I guess its none at all--
I'll never go to smash, boys,
While I can cut a dash, boys;
For I'm a chap, without a rap
That's--slightly on the mash.
Heavens! how they applauded her as she ogled and flirted, and winked, and smiled; to hear her was a liberal education--in slang.
"Gad, ain't she a jolly little thing," cried Pat, enthusiastically.
"Don't lose your heart, old chap," whispered Ronald, "remember Miss Lester."
"Begad, my heart's big enough for two," said Pat, with a humorous twinkle in his eye; "but ye needn't be afraid, Ronald, I have no diamonds to give away."
"No wonder the theatre elevates the masses," said Gerald to Sir Mark, who was listening to the song with rather a contemptuous smile; "what with burlesques, sensation dramas, aid shilling shockers, we'll soon attain a wonderful degree of civilization."
"Oh! you look at everything from a utilitarian point of view," replied Trevor, as the curtain fell on the first act, amid thunders of applause.