Then there is the educational lady, who runs a serial story on the iniquities of our educational methods. “The whole system is wrong, abso-lute-ly wrong, from beginning to end,” she declaims. My one consolation is, that she would be far less pleased if it were right, since she would then have nothing to rail about.
But my greatest bugbear is the inquisitorial lady—generally eulogized by the Vicar, when he is stuck fast for an adjective, as “very capable.” She starts right away, in the middle of a piece of best war-cake, with a clear cut inquiry such as: “Does your husband wear striped flannel shirts under his white ones?” Hurriedly you try to decide on the safest reply. But she has you either way! If you say Yes, she explains how injurious it is to wear coloured stripes; they may be a deadly skin irritant, for all you know. If you say No, she holds up hands of amazement that any woman can neglect the man of her heart in such a way, and instructs you in the necessity for his wearing flannel in addition to his vests.
Mrs. Griggles is a mere picnic beside the inquisitorial lady, for at least you know what her theme will be; whereas with the other you never know where she will open an attack.
Mrs. Griggles’ mission in life is to be generous and charitable. “It is so beautiful to feel that you have done another a kindness, no matter how small,” she constantly remarks. And I’ll say this for Mrs. Griggles, I never knew anyone able to do so many kindnesses in the course of the year—at other people’s expense! And I never knew anyone more generous—with other people’s possessions.
Where her own belongings are concerned, she is the very soul of rigid economy; why they didn’t co-opt her on to the War Savings Committee I cannot understand.
Only once has she been known to give away anything of her own, and that was a paper pattern of a dressing jacket that she cut out in newspaper from the tissue original which she had borrowed from a friend.
Whenever I see the lady looming in the offing, I find myself mentally running over my wardrobe, to see what coat or skirt I can spare for the sad case she is probably just starting in a hairdresser’s shop; or wondering whether I have any sheets for a sick woman; or whether the stock of knee-caps I purchased at the last Bazaar is quite exhausted; or whether the kitchen would rebel if she does send every week for the tea-leaves; or whether I’ve given away all the Surgical-Aid letters.
You never know what request she will make. Yet she doesn’t irritate me, as she does some people, simply because I regard her as a Charity-Broker; her work is distinctly useful, and, up to a certain point, praiseworthy, if she didn’t make quite such a song about her own benevolence and ignore the part in it played by other people.
She saves my time by hunting out cases that may, or may not, need help; and if she glows when she bestows my money or my boots upon them—well, I glow too, with the thought of my own kindness and beneficence. And anything that can make anybody glow in this vale of tears, isn’t to be despised.