Here I did manage to interpolate a sarcastic regret that they couldn’t find a more interesting topic of conversation!
“Oh, yes, we had other more interesting things to talk about, dear, but Mrs. Archdeacon had your photo on the table, and the Archdeacon said something about you, I forget what—nothing of any importance—and that was the only reason we mentioned you. I said I thought perhaps you did it that way because it was a little thin just there. . . . Oh, I know you used to have a lot of hair, dear; but some people’s hair does come out, and a pad doesn’t look so well anywhere else. . . .
“It’s all your own hair? You don’t wear—— Well, I am surprised! I should never have thought it!! I don’t mean that it looks much in any case, but I always concluded that you wore——
“Oh, how delightful! I’ll confess I was longing for a cup of tea. . . . Yes, three lumps and plenty of milk. I always say it makes up for any deficiencies in the tea, if one has lots of milk. . . . China tea, is it? I thought so. I dare say it’s all right for those who like it. And, of course, if you tell people what it is, they understand why it looks so poor. . . .
“On no account; don’t think of having some Indian tea made specially for me. I can quite well make this do, because I’m going straight home after I leave you, and tea will be waiting for me, and I shall have a good cup first thing. . . .
“Yes, I think I will have another sandwich, even though it is the third time of asking. These make me think of the Guild ‘At Home’ last week. You ought to have been there. The Archdeacon makes such a delightful host and the sandwiches!—well, I can’t tell you what they were like; literally hundreds and hundreds of them, and such delicious filling; all cut in their own kitchen, too. You really should get Mrs. Archdeacon to tell you what her cook put in them; you’d never touch one of these ordinary ones again, once you had tasted hers.
“But what I would like to know is, what does she do with all the crusts? Mrs. Ridley thought that perhaps they made them up into savoury puddings; only, as I said to her: How about those with fish in them? She said that perhaps they kept them separate when cutting; but I know the shuffling ways of cooks better than that! I never kept one, and I never will. . . .
“I must certainly try the cake if you made it yourself. I seldom get time to do any cooking myself, though I’m a very good hand at cakes. But you’ve secretaries to take everything off your hands; you must have lots of spare time.”
(A moment’s pause while she tries the cake.)
“Have you ever used the Busy Bee Flour Sifter? No? Then I should strongly advise you to get one. I should think that might help you to make a lighter cake; or do you think you put in enough baking powder? But there, some people have a light hand with cakes, and some haven’t. I don’t think anything makes any difference if you haven’t. It’s just like plants, isn’t it—they always grow well for those who love them. Your ferns aren’t looking very bright, are they? . . .