Opening the study door, my eyes fell on such an upheaval that for the moment I felt certain a gas explosion must have been at work there. But no! He explained (turning out yet another drawer) that he was only looking for some insurance policies, as he wasn’t quite certain what was the attitude of the companies towards geysers. I pointed out that it didn’t matter as we hadn’t one; but he went on looking, and his face wore that tense expression seen on most men when hunting for the family screwdriver, or the pair of black gloves kept for funerals. Having found the policies at last (in the drawer where they had always been kept, by the way), I left him in peace, to peruse them at his leisure.
The Ladies’ Committee was well under way when I returned to the dining-room, and as is the correct thing at such gatherings, everybody was talking at once and on the most diverse topics. I consider myself rather great on ladies’ committees; I’ve even occupied the proud position of being in the chair, on occasion. And the more I see of them the more I am lost in admiration of the courage, versatility, and insuppressibility of my sex.
Why, there’s no man living who could trail as many totally irrelevant topics across the agenda, and in defiance of a politely pleading chairwoman too, as can the littlest and frailest woman at any ladies’ committee you like to name.
As it was, the only one who seemed within a hundred miles of Zeppelins was poor Mrs. Brash, who was explaining to Mrs. Ridley—
“It isn’t that I mind dying: we all have to die some day: but I do prefer to die whole.”
Of course the doctor’s widow pooh-poohed this as nonsense, and asked severely what would become of surgeons if everybody felt like that!
Miss Thresher couldn’t find a suitable heading for her schedule, till Ursula suggested “Antizeptics.” Mrs. Ridley thought the medical profession might not approve of the unprofessional use of the word; but it was accepted by the majority, and then we all settled down wholeheartedly to attack the problem from every point of view—which included, among other things, borax as a preventive for moth, Queen Mary’s graciousness, a comparison of the respective merits of local butchers, economising on corsets, and the War Loan.
Perhaps you can’t see how these came in, but it was simple enough. Miss Quicker said that, after all, explosions that you thought were Zeppelins weren’t so bad if they enabled you to get such good coffee as mine; and might she have a third lump of sugar, please? it was such a treat to get a really sweet cup of coffee; she had given up sugar at home as she was economising on it.
Being the hostess, I couldn’t exactly tell her that I, too, was trying to economise on mine.