A dressing-room should be provided for the ladies. This should contain a mirror and dressing-table furnished with brush and comb, pins, hair-pins, and other small accessories of the feminine toilette. A maid is usually in attendance to assist in the removal of wraps. A second room may be arranged for the men, or they may leave their coats and hats in the hall. They also will need a mirror, and a man-servant may help them to take off and later to put on their overshoes and greatcoats. At a formal dinner each man receives a diminutive envelope containing a card with the name of the lady whom he is to take in to dinner. This may be handed to him on a salver by the butler or the waitress when he arrives, or he may find it in the dressing-room. According to a novel method, the envelope is omitted and a square card made to double into a long shape is used. On the inside are engraved the words:
Will you kindly escort
........................................
to dinner?
The hostess fills in the name of the lady and puts that of the gentleman on the outside.
Mr. Ward McAllister tells us in his book that this is a Boston fashion, and that the New York hostesses of his day were returning to the old method “of assigning the guests in the drawing-room.” While the last-mentioned way is to be preferred for small and informal dinners, cards are convenient for ceremonious functions. A bashful young man suggests to us that they have the advantage of giving the gentleman a few minutes to think over what he shall say to his dinner-partner before he goes up to speak to her.
It is no longer the custom to enter the drawing-room arm-in-arm. A gentleman waits until the ladies of his party appear at the door of their dressing-room, and then follows them into the drawing-room. Here the host and hostess should be standing in readiness to give their guests a cordial welcome. The gentleman very soon seeks the lady whom he is to take into dinner. If he is not acquainted with her he asks the host or hostess to present him. On a less formal occasion there would be no cards, the lady of the house asking each man to take in a certain lady.
The cook should be told beforehand at what hour the dinner will be served. This is usually fifteen minutes after that named in the invitations. The butler or waitress should also be informed of the number of guests expected, in order that he or she may not announce dinner until all have arrived. The hostess herself must decide whether to wait beyond the quarter of an hour for a tardy guest or to order dinner served. In justice to the friends already assembled she will not in any event delay long.
When all is in readiness the butler or waitress advances a little way into the room, saying in a low voice, “Dinner is served.” If the dining-room is next door, it suffices to draw the portières or open the folding-doors. At a formal dinner the host offers his right arm to the wife of the guest of honor, and with her leads the way to the table. The other couples all follow arm-in-arm, the hostess coming last with the most distinguished man present or with the one for whom the dinner is given. In official circles in Washington, as in European society, the question of precedence is a very serious one. The hosts must arrange with great care the procession to the dining-room, in order that each person may have his proper place. In other American cities and towns the rules are much less strict. The younger make way for the older, and married women take precedence of single ones.
If the guests are invited to meet a married couple, the host will take in the wife, seating her at his right, and the hostess will go in with the husband, who will sit at her right. A bride is usually awarded the place of honor, a clergyman and his wife receiving similar recognition. A hostess sometimes enters the dining-room with the man who is to sit on her left—the second most honorable place. Each gentleman assists in seating the lady under his charge, unless this office is performed by a servant. If a clergyman is present he is usually asked to say grace. On sitting down at table the ladies remove their gloves and endeavor not to drop them upon the floor. Since a silken lap is very slippery, it is difficult to prevent this. Men, however, rather dislike being obliged to dive head foremost under the table in order to recover fan, handkerchief, or gloves for the thoughtless fair. The large dinner-napkin is partially unfolded and spread out over the knees, not tucked into a buttonhole.