Stoddart brought in a telegram, retired softly, and closed the door. She looked at it with a sudden thrill of comprehending joy. A good-night message from Deryck? He nearly always sent her one. Ah, if she had remembered to do the same for him! She glanced at the clock. Twenty minutes past eight. Too late to get one through.
She slipped off her cloak and sank into an easy-chair, holding the unopened message in her hand. She wished to realize to the full the newness of what it meant to receive words from him. Then, when her heart was ready, she opened the orange envelope gently and drew out the folded paper.
It seemed a long message. She read it through once. She read it through again. Then she sat quite still and listened to the ticking of the clock. Then she looked at it again and heard a frightened voice, not unlike her own, reading it aloud:
From the Commissioner of Police, Brighton.
Regret to announce Dr. Deryck Brand knocked down by motor-car corner King's Road. Killed instantly. Wire instructions.
She rose and walked to the door. It opened as she reached it, and Stoddart stood there saying the brougham waited. She waved him aside.
"I shall not want it to-night, thank you."
Passing into her room, she closed the door. The electric light over her dressing-table shone brightly. She switched it off. Then, in the utter darkness, she felt her way to the empty bed, his bed and hers, laid down the telegram upon it, and stood quite still.
"O God," she whispered, "help me to think.... I am not clever. My little boy thinks me stupid, and my big boy thinks me lovely; but Thou knowest my loveliness seems to me but filthy rags. But now, in my hour of need, oh, merciful God, let me think! There is something I want to remember. Ah!" she almost shrieked, "the wheels of time! the wheels of time! Never move backwards, they say; always forwards—always forwards. And that is why it is too late. O God, too late, too late! My roses ready—ready for him; but too late.... What did the children say: 'If ye shall ask anything in my name, I will do it.' And Dicky says anything means anything we need. God in heaven! I need the wheels of time to move back six hours, that I may go with him."
She flung herself upon her knees beside the bed.