Such little thoughts whipped quickly through his mind as he tried to make it regain balance for the immediate tasks besetting him, because they were little and simple and easy to grasp and discard. They could keep him from going crazy. It was the bigger thoughts—the bigger ones that might come later—they were the kind he had to keep out of his head.
Major Joshua Thorn began his work with the equipment, to modify it for use as Daddy-o had told him.
He could do it automatically, do it in his sleep, do it blind. Couldn't watch and do it, though. Watch later. Think of the little things now that were easy while the equipment got automatically modified. Little things to keep the big ones like what was happening down there from tipping him over into the whirlpool of madness that was trying so hard to pull at him.
Little things....
"Please be seated, Major Thorn."
"Yes sir."
"This will be your Final Security interrogation. To be followed, upon its favorable completion, by Final Briefing. Before we begin, do you have any questions, Major?"
The thick lenses of the glasses reflected the interrogation cubicle's harsh lighting and would not let him see accurately into the pale eyes that blinked behind them. But it was almost as though he and Brigadier Robert McQuine, USAF, Intelligence, were old friends. And the sweating faces of the three G-2 psychiatrists that gleamed at McQuine's left on the opposite end of the big oval-shaped conference-table—they were more than familiar. They had never thought he, Thorn, was really sane. What really sane man who had flown twice too many missions in one war would volunteer to fly in the next that followed? What sane man would go begging for military flight-test assignments in weird ships that had never been flown anywhere but in a wind-tunnel and on computer-tapes. And what sane man—God help him—what man in his senses would ask to be fired a thousand miles off the Earth with only the knowledge that a thing the size of a basketball had circled the planet successfully for almost a year before it fell back and burned up?
Had the Major ever had thoughts of—well, of doing away with himself? Had the Major hated his father when he was young? Been afraid of girls? (Oh, is that a fact, Major? Well! Well, now....)